Let’s assume you achieved something that caught the attention of the media. Local and national newspapers published stories about you, praising your efforts. TV news programs interviewed you and covered your story. You walked down the street in your neighborhood and people recognized you and congratulated you.

You’re famous! How would that make you feel?

I think most of us would admit we’d feel very positive and proud as a result of this attention and recognition. We’d feel important. But let’s dig deeper. What part of us is enjoying this fame?

It is the ego that is celebrating - not the spirit. It is the ego that seeks and revels in fame. The ego is constantly looking to establish its superiority over others - and fame is the ego’s finest hour.

Fame separates people. It is based on the principle that there are certain “favored” individuals who deserve special attention while the rest of the population is ordinary and not as deserving. Fame is based on outside validation, and your spirit has no need for outside approval.

It’s important to distinguish between seeking fame and receiving recognition from others. All humans like to be recognized and appreciated. We enjoy expressing gratitude and receiving praise.
While the spirit may enjoy receiving recognition, it doesn’t need outside approval. The spirit is whole and complete right now, no matter what is accomplished or who recognizes it. The ego, on the other hand, seeks fame and wants others to know that you are important.

If we look at most societies today, we see that celebrity is worshipped. TV shows, magazines and online stories are dominated by celebrity news. We not only seek fame for ourselves - we want to follow the drama of others who have achieved celebrity status.  We want autographs of well known people. We want to tell our friends and neighbors that we were in the same room as an actor, athlete or politician. “I actually shook his hand,” we say with great pride.

The spirit takes no satisfaction from any of this nonsense. It clearly sees the pursuit of fame - or the obsession with the fame of others — as a dead end when it comes to peace and happiness.

There is often a paradox here. When you are in tune with your spirit, fame may find you - even though you are not seeking it. You become a powerful force field that others are attracted to. After all, wouldn’t you be attracted to someone who is full of love and acceptance and who respects all people as equal? When you are in the presence of someone who is not dominated by ego, you feel the spirit of that person - and it connects with your spirit. The divine energy is radiant.

This sounds very nice except for one important issue: MONEY. Our spirit may be happy yet we still have to pay the bills. In many cases, the person who does not seek fame may not make a lot of money. I’ll admit that in the business world, fame often brings material rewards. The person who has acquired some degree of fame will often make more money than the person who shuns the spotlight. The famous person receives special treatment that the others won’t get.

But fame will not bring lasting spiritual satisfaction. When you separate yourself from others, you are separating yourself from God. When you depend on outside recognition, you’re investing in something that will never satisfy you in the long run.

Furthermore, fame is fleeting. At some point, you’re likely to lose your celebrity status and your ego will then feel disappointed. If you gained fame as an athlete, you will lose your athletic ability as you age. If you gained fame based on your looks, that youthful appearance will eventually fade. If you made a lot of money, people may turn their attention to someone who is making even more money. You become “old news.”

Your ego then scrambles to recreate its celebrity or establish some type of advantage over others. This is a game where you can never rest and where you will always experience a roller coaster of ups and downs.

Fame is not a subject that I can adequately address in one short essay. There are so many variations to be explored. Fame means something different to each of you. The most I can do is introduce the issue and allow you to do further exploring on your own.

I have no doubt that many of you (or should I say your egos) are already building a case for the positive aspects of fame. You’re thinking of instances where fame does some good in the world.
Thus, a celebrity might help raise money for a charity. Isn’t that a good thing? Yes, in a way. But why does it take a celebrity for us to give money to that charity? Why are we giving such importance to what the celebrity says? Follow the trail of fame all the way to its roots, with all its implications, and fame may begin to lose some of its luster.

If the concept of fame and celebrity is so valuable, why don’t you run your own family that way? If one of your children does something noteworthy (like getting an impressive grade on a test), why not give that child preferred seating at family meals…or create a special seat in the family car for the “famous” child?

You wouldn’t make these distinctions because you know if you did, you’d be sending a message to your other children that they are not as valuable. You know they would quickly feel like second-class citizens. We won’t play the fame game in our own family, yet we play it with the members of our extended human family.

Thomas Wolfe once said, “You have reached the pinnacle of success as soon as you become uninterested in money, compliments, or publicity.” You may think this statement is radical and possibly impractical, but I think there is much truth to his words.

From a spiritual perspective, I don’t think it matters who knows about you or thinks you’re someone special. It only matters that you know yourself.

– Jeff Keller
(c) 2008

Today’s message was contributed by Daniel Decker, a subscriber to this newsletter. I have known Daniel for several years and have learned so much from him about faith, tolerance and kindness. On top of that, Daniel is an expert in the area of strategic marketing. Daniel’s message today is a perfect follow-up to the last newsletter message, “Sitting on the Fence.” I know you will benefit from Daniel’s wisdom, just as I have.

– Jeff Keller

When One Door Closes…

Contributed by Daniel Decker

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “When one door closes, another one opens.”

It’s a phrase many of us have used to comfort a friend in their time of challenge or change. It’s a phrase many of us have been told in our own lives as we’ve encountered uncertainty or a new direction. Its offers a gentle reminder of all things working for a greater good and that, even though we may be blinded by our current circumstances, we will rise above if we have trust and faith.

But it’s not so simple is it?

I mean, if it were then we would not find ourselves stressed out, panicking, or depressed in times of challenge? If we truly lived by the belief that “when one door closes, another one opens,”
we’d have no reservations against adversity or struggle. We’d embrace them and accept them as a necessary part of us growing and moving from one stage in our lives to another.

As I have looked back on my life I see there are times when I knew the right words to say but my actions didn’t support what I said I believed.

I DIDN’T WANT TO LET THE DOOR CLOSE - Too often we are so afraid of an existing door closing that we fight and fight to keep it open. Our eyes become so focused on the door that is closing that we don’t stop to look around for the new one that is opening up.
The fear of losing what we’ve had often blocks us from the opportunity to accept all the great things that are coming.

I WAS AFRAID OF BEING BETWEEN THE DOORS - Sometimes a new door doesn’t open at the exact same time as an old door is closing. I believe this is a common cause of confusion. Many expect that when one door closes, another one is opening simultaneously in its place. I’ve not found that to always be the case. There may be a brief time between the doors when you are meant to reflect or learn from your old door before you can be ready to step into the opening of a new one. This is a time of preparation and peace. Not a time of frantic disbelief.

So what about you?

“When one door closes, another door opens.”

Are you holding on too tight? Are you afraid of what is next?

Join me as we embrace the change together, as we move from knowing the right things to say to actually believing them and putting them into practice through our words and actions. Let go of that old door and get ready to step into the new one.

– Daniel Decker
© 2008

http://www.danieldecker.net
http://www.giftofkindness.com

Are there any areas of your life where you’ve considered making changes, but you just don’t have the courage to take decisive action?

You might be thinking about moving to a different part of the country - or to a different country. Maybe you’re thinking about taking a job with another company in your field, or starting a business of your own. You might even be thinking of making a career change. We’ve all faced these kinds of dilemmas.

When these thoughts arise, we often find ourselves sitting on the fence. We climb to the top of the fence and want to jump to the other side - but we are paralyzed with fear. We daydream about what the other side of the fence will look like, how it will feel. Yet we take no action. We sit on top of the fence.

I’ve experienced this many times in my life, most recently when I started this newsletter. For almost 20 years, I had been writing articles on attitude, motivation and success principles. Over the last few years, I became more and more interested in spiritual growth and wanted to switch my focus to concentrate on the spiritual journey.

However, my business had been built in the traditional self- development niche. I didn’t know how people would respond if I started writing spiritual growth essays. I had no idea how everything would work out financially if I began to devote considerable time to this new focus. Since I was wary of these uncertainties,I sat on the fence for a while.

Eventually, I jumped to the other side of the fence and began writing this newsletter. As someone who has sat on some fences, and jumped to the other side on a number of occasions, let me offer some observations that might be of help to you when considering the areas where you are currently sitting on the fence.

1. Where you are right now is where you should be. Be open to the idea that things in your life happen for a reason. That means if you are sitting on the fence, that’s exactly where you should be. We tend to believe that sitting on the fence is a “bad” thing. I no longer feel that way. Just because you are feeling a desire to make a change doesn’t mean you are ready to make that change right now. You might be ready next week, next month or in two years. If and when you are ready to move to the other side of the fence, your spirit will guide you there. Have faith that all is unfolding perfectly even if you are feeling uneasy right now.

2. You can’t demand that the transition be easy. Most fence sitters are waiting to move to the “new” side of the fence when they can be sure the transition will be relatively smooth. They want a soft landing. That’s not the way things work on this planet!

In most instances, once you land on the others side, all sorts of uncomfortable, unexpected things will happen. You have the ability to deal with them, but in the short term, you may be frightened and disoriented. Therefore, when you do make the jump to the other side, go with this outlook: “I am willing to accept whatever happens.” Believe that God is there with you, guiding you. If roadblocks come up, as they will, believe that they are there to strengthen you.

3. The other side of the fence is not always an improvement.
There are times when the change we are contemplating will not contribute to our happiness and well-being. We often jump to the other side for the “wrong” reasons. We may feel we need to jump because that’s what our friends or family members want us to do, or that’s what society expects us to do. We take a promotion at work because that is the path we are “supposed” to take, even though the new job description doesn’t fit our talents or interests. Our spirit tells us not to jump, but we override this guidance and follow our conditioned beliefs.

There are also instances where we jump to make changes in our external conditions without making any changes internally, at the level of our awareness. We have an unsatisfying relationship and we look for another person to make us happy. We refuse to address our own lack of self-esteem, our own judgmental behavior, our own resentments. In our career, we don’t like our job, so we look for another job. We don’t like the next job, so we change again. We are looking to make changes from the outside, not realizing that we are destined to repeat the same patterns until we change internally. In these situations, we learn over and over that the grass is not greener on the other side.

I suppose we could say that this essay falls within the category of traditional self-help principles. Certainly, there is some overlap. In my experience, most self-help articles on this subject don’t advocate accepting what is. They encourage goal
setting where you are forced to choose where you want to go - and then proactively take steps to reach the other side of the fence. Sitting on the fence is perceived as weakness.

Those with a spiritual perspective will approach it differently. They will listen more to their inner voice and surrender the decision to God. There will be less forcing, and more allowing. They will accept where they are now, even if they are sitting on the fence and unable to jump to the other side. They believe that eventually the divine timing will be right and they will make the jump.

Whether you take a traditional self-help approach, or a spiritual perspective, you will in all likelihood be scared when you jump to the other side of the fence. Your ego will scream and shout about why you shouldn’t have jumped. Eventually the voice of the ego will subside and you will find that there is a power mightier than the ego to guide you as you continue your journey on the other side of the fence.

– Jeff Keller
(c) 2008

Many of those who read books and articles on self-development and spiritual growth enjoy what I would call “warm fuzzy stories.” At the movies, we often refer to them as tear jerkers. These stories can be very inspirational and they evoke strong emotions.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am touched by many of these warm fuzzy stories. But let’s take it a step farther. Do these stories contribute significantly to your spiritual growth? My answer is “no.” You might come to a different conclusion.

These stories often involve injury, death or some other form of suffering. Granted, there is often a positive end to the story, which may leave you uplifted, crying or both. But does this affect your understanding of your divine connection in a meaningful way? Do you behave any differently because you were touched by this story?

Sure, we get a warm fuzzy feeling and we respect and admire the person in the story for what he or she experienced or overcame. Reading the story will improve our attitude and give us positive feelings in the short term. That is extremely valuable in itself. But feelings alone don’t enhance spiritual growth or foster a closer connection to God.

Think about the stories you have read over the years that fit within this category. I’ve read many hundreds or even thousands of them. I’m guessing many of you can say the same. How many of these stories can you repeat to me now? Perhaps a handful, at best. Can you describe how your behavior changed, or how your relationship to God changed, as a result of reading these stories?

Let’s say you read one of these stories on your computer before leaving for work. Do you treat people differently that day as a result of reading the story? Do you express more love that day? Do you show more compassion that day? Do you have less anxiety?

My answer to those questions is “no.” Of course, at the time I was reading the story, I believed that I was somehow gaining some spiritual understanding. But it was not lasting. As I look back, I can see that I often felt sorry for the person who experienced the tragedy or suffered the loss of a loved one. I felt inspired by the way they handled the crisis. Yet, I don’t remember the details of any of these stories now, and I can’t specifically tell you how they enhanced my spiritual growth.

That’s why you won’t see many of these kinds of stories in this newsletter. There are some stories published here that could be called warm and fuzzy. They may involve death and tragedy. But I select them because, in my view, they go beyond the temporary activation of our emotions.

The person who has gained some degree of spiritual growth does not need a warm fuzzy story to strengthen his or her divine connection. That person sees God in everything, even in the most mundane. In addition, I’ve found that spiritual growth rarely comes from what we read about others. That can be a trigger, but then we have to ask the hard questions and have the courage to follow the answers we hear.

The spiritual journey challenges us. It usually requires that we be willing to go through some uncomfortable feelings to learn more about ourselves and our connection to God. When we are truly ready to advance on our spiritual path, the rug is often pulled out from under us. We feel that we are being tossed around and that many of the things we held dear are crumbling.

I’m not against warm fuzzy stories. On some level, they help us to connect with each other. However, for those of us interested in expanding our spiritual awareness, I don’t think the answers are to be found by reading those stories. We need to take a look at our own stories, our own beliefs, our own behaviors. We won’t always feel good in the short term by doing that kind of investigation, but we open the way to meaningful spiritual growth and positive feelings over the long term.

Let your eyes get watery as you calm the raging thoughts of your mind and discover the beauty of the silence that emerges. Let your eyes get watery as you loosen the hold of your ego and your attachments. Let your eyes get watery as you begin to open your heart and recognize who you are.

– Jeff Keller
© 2008

Here’s a follow-up on my message that was sent to you on January 4. (“The Judgment Diet”). After that message was sent, many of you sent e-mails to let me know that you, too, were struggling with the issue of making countless judgments. Many of you pledged to join me on my “Judgment Diet.”

Some subscribers offered excellent suggestions about how they avoid judging. I don’t have space here to include all of them, but I will share one subscriber’s insights; she referred to Luke 6:41:

“I’ll paraphrase. ‘You can take the splinter out of my own eye, when you take the plank out of yours.’ My husband used to quote this Bible scripture to me over the years, and it slowly sank in. It always made me stop and think. Who am I to judge others? Haven’t I done plenty of things wrong, and continue to do so, even if they’re not exactly the same bad things that others are doing?”

I found her suggestion to be quite helpful. And yet, I have to confess that I suffered a setback on my Judgment Diet. That’s right. I did a lot of judging the past ten days. Let me explain. Those in the U.S. are probably familiar with the recent stories involving major league baseball pitcher Roger Clemens and his ongoing battle with his personal trainer, Brian McNamee. Clemens is considered one of the best pitchers of all time. For those who may not be familiar, here are the pertinent facts.

As you may know, many athletes (including some Olympic athletes) have used steroids to build muscle and enhance their performance. These substances are often illegal and the use of them is considered “cheating.” Many Olympic athletes have been forced to give back their medals because they tested positive for banned substances.

The Commissioner of Major League Baseball asked former U.S. Senator George Mitchell to investigate steroid use in baseball. During that investigation, McNamee testified that on numerous occasions, at the request of Clemens, McNamee injected Clemens with steroids.

Clemens has accused the trainer of lying and said he never received any injections of steroids. He said the trainer only injected him with vitamin B-12 and legal painkilling medication. Clemens has gone on TV to call McNamee a liar. He filed a lawsuit against the trainer for defamation.

Where do I fit in here? I believe that Clemens is lying. I find myself judging him and condemning him because he won’t tell the truth – and is trying to discredit the trainer (who I believe is telling the truth).

First of all, I can’t possibly know for sure which of these men is lying. I wasn’t there when the injections were given. In addition, I have no stake in what happened. No matter who is telling the truth, it has absolutely no affect on my life. Yet I continue to judge Clemens and feel what he is doing is wrong – and that he should be punished in some way if he is proven to be lying.

For whatever reason, lying is an act that “pushes my buttons.” It annoys me and I judge the person who I feel is lying. It’s simply a part of my conditioning. There’s no doubt that our behavior can change. But let’s not kid ourselves and deny the power of our conditioning.

Here is what I am learning: I don’t loosen the hold of judgment by fighting it or trying to resist it. If I grit my teeth and say “I shouldn’t be judging him”, all I am doing is judging myself AND judging the other person. What works better is to accept that I am judging right now, but just watching it as a casual, impartial observer. I can say to myself, “There I go again, judging someone,” and watch it, without giving it any energy. I can then let it float out of my mind.

When we shine the light of awareness on our judgment, and simply observe it, we have a better chance of staying on our Judgment Diet. There is much truth to the oft quoted phrase, “What you resist, persists.”

Be gentle with yourself and your judgments. If you make a judgment, don’t deny that you are doing it. Don’t condemn yourself for doing it. Just observe that you are judging, giving it as little energy as possible. You will find that the energy dissipates and you will be a little less likely to judge the next time someone pushes your buttons.

I don’t know anyone who gave up judging overnight. So, I’m back on my Judgment Diet, and I’m willing to accept progress as it comes. A calm awareness will show the way.

– Jeff Keller
© 2008

Contributed by Jim Donovan

There I was living in a tiny bedroom in my parents’ not-so-large, five room apartment. I had, as they say, “run out of options.” My life was out of control, way out. Had it not been for mom and dad’s willingness to let me stay with them, I would have been homeless living in Central Park or another one of New York City’s fine parks. Years of rampant excess had brought me to my knees.

I would lay awake at night, unable to sleep, pleading with God to help me. I prayed, begged and bargained for my life to change. I just wanted to get my life back on track, for it had been years since I lived anything that resembled a “normal” life.

As they say, “We plan and God laughs.” God’s plan for me was quite different from mine. God’s plan brought me to the detox ward of a local hospital, since He knew where the real problem lay. I remember sitting on the beat-up old couch on the second day, the day when one experiences the physical bottom of the detox and, with my arms reaching out, looking upward saying “Okay God, either take me or help me change.” To be quite honest, at that moment, it didn’t much matter to me which He chose. That fateful day was many years ago, and my life has never been the same from that moment on.

The hand of God reached directly into my life and changed my course from one of self-loathing and imminent death, to a life that is beyond my wildest dreams. I believe that, at that very moment, I surrendered. Something in me shifted and I became willing to open my mind and listen. I stopped trying to do it my way and took the suggestions that were being offered.

I began rebuilding my life, one day at a time and, some years later, started writing about the ideas and techniques that were helping me regain what I had lost and more. Little did I know where He was taking me next. From what began as a simple newsletter in 1991, I have since written several books, which have been published in 22 countries and are read throughout the world. What an awesome feeling and honor it is for me to receive letters from people across the globe whose lives have become better as a result of reading something I wrote and acting on it.

Today I have a wonderful life, complete with a loving and supportive wife and beautiful home but, more importantly, today my life has purpose. Today I realize that the hand of God reached into my life so that I could share my message of hope and possibility to help others. Today I have the privilege of touching the lives of people throughout the world with my books and speaking and I am forever grateful that His will, not mine, was done.

Jim Donovan is the author of “Handbook to a Happier Life,” and is a motivational speaker and business coach. For more information about Jim’s newsletter, his articles and other resources, go to: http://www.jimdonovan.com  

Have you ever seen geese or other birds fly in a V-formation? It’s an amazing sight. They demonstrate such perfect alignment and know precisely when to turn. I’ve never seen the geese referring to instruction manuals, and they don’t rehearse the choreography every day.

How do they know what to do?

After all, we human beings are the ones who have the developed brains. You mean you don’t need a highly developed brain to execute these incredible maneuvers?

Animals live mainly by instinct. God (or the force of Nature) seems to guide animals so that they know exactly what to do.
They know when to sleep, when to eat, and how to find food. They know when and how to mate without taking any sex education courses and without having any awkward discussions with their parents.

Bears know when to hibernate even though they don’t own a calendar. Scientists tell us that bears hibernate because it would be difficult for the bears to find food during the severe conditions of winter. In the months before hibernation, a bear will gain up to 40 pounds of fat per week! How does the bear know when to start gaining this weight? Or just how much to gain? The bears will “wake up” and come out of hibernation in April or May when food is available again. How do the bears know when to wake up? Do they own alarm clocks?

Let’s get back to the birds flying in the V-formation for a moment. If these birds had the “advanced” brain that we have, they’d be thinking things like this:

“I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep tonight, knowing that we’re flying in formation tomorrow.”

“I don’t look as strong and steady as some of the other birds in our group.”

“What if the other birds criticize me if I make a wrong turn?”

We know that if the birds could think those thoughts, they wouldn’t be able to fly as effectively as they do. They rely on some incredible guidance system that is not “contaminated” by judgments and worries.

Certainly, there are some advantages to having an advanced brain. I never saw a squirrel knitting a sweater or a group of birds that could build an automobile. Animals don’t create beautiful paintings or write poetry. Yes, we do have the upper edge in those areas. The human brain is an amazing instrument.

But perhaps we “over-use” our brain. We use this brain to doubt ourselves, to worry and to judge ourselves and others. When the thoughts are raging, we often lose our concentration and perform at less than our maximum. Our minds are working against us.

If a member of the bird flock dies or is killed, the other birds don’t grieve for days or months, and they don’t say “it shouldn’t have happened.” Instead, they are able to quickly get on with life. And they don’t start wondering, “If THAT bird died, I could die, too.” They don’t get trapped in their thoughts and become distracted.

Who has the advantage, and who has the disadvantage?

Yes, you could give me so many examples of things a human can experience that other creatures can’t. That’s true.

But I can’t help but envy animals that are so connected with Nature that they live perfectly in the flow of life, having their next activity communicated to them by instinct. Nature or God takes care of their needs and when it’s time for their existence to end, their existence ends.

One thing perplexes me. Why would God develop a system where animals are led perfectly by instinct, but humans (who are supposedly a “higher” life form) have to use their own brains and fend for themselves in this tricky universe? Why aren’t we the beneficiaries of this magnificent guidance system that communicates with the animals and lets them know exactly what to do - and when to do it?

Perhaps humans DO have this direct pipeline to God or Nature.
Maybe our lives could flow smoothly if we learned not to over-use our minds. The incessant mind chatter seems to block our guidance system.

So many religions and spiritual disciplines recommend that we surrender our thoughts and desires, and calm our minds. Then, we can begin to access the magical way that God communicates with us.

Something tells me they are right. We can access this guidance system and live in a more effortless flow. But it won’t happen until we learn when to use our mind - and when to stop using the mind to block the natural flow of wisdom that emanates from the Creator.

At this point, you probably want to know how you can quiet your mind. Please don’t settle for anything my “developed” brain could tell you about that. Find your own way to quiet the mental chatter. I know it’s not easy. However, if you want it badly enough, you will receive guidance - from the same source that tells the bears to hibernate and directs the birds to fly in that perfect V-formation.

– Jeff Keller
© 2008

It’s the time of year when many people make New Year’s resolutions. What is the most popular resolution? If the polls and media reports are to be trusted, the most popular change people want to make is this: they want to lose weight. So, they resolve to go on a diet (and exercise) to lose weight.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions because I don’t think there is anything magical about making changes at the start of the year. But I have an ongoing resolution. I too am on a diet.
No, I don’t need to shed any extra pounds. I’m on a Judgment Diet. Some people give up sweets and other fattening foods on their diet. I want to give up judging others on my diet.

Those who know me would probably say I’m not judgmental.
Perhaps that’s true in comparison with others. Yet my mind is making judgments all the time. They don’t serve me. But those judgments keep coming. So, I’m still looking for a Judgment Diet that will work, that will put an end to these judgments. Each year I make a little progress, but I still have a long way to go.

I know it’s possible to be non-judgmental because I’ve met some people who have this rare trait. I enjoy yoga classes, and I’ve met several yoga teachers who don’t judge people. They don’t judge the level of the student’s ability; they don’t judge what the student says; they don’t judge anything about the student’s behavior - even if the student is rude or inconsiderate of others.

My father’s aunt was also non-judgmental. She always had a smile, never engaged in any gossip and always saw the good in everyone. I don’t recall her criticizing or judging anyone.

I’ve been to houses of worship in many faiths, and occasionally, I’ll find someone delivering a sermon who is so welcoming and non-judgmental. If you’ve ever watched Pastor Joel Osteen on television, I’d put him in that category. He always has a wide smile and delivers a positive message of hope and inspiration.
When you listen to him, you feel that he understands you and accepts you, without any judgment.

People of all faiths enjoy Joel Osteen’s sermons and read his books. He fills arenas and stadiums across the country when he speaks. His weekly TV program is viewed by 200 million households in the U.S. and in 100 countries around the world.
Why is he so popular? I think it’s because he spreads a message of love and optimism, without judgment.

There are many in the Christian clergy who judge Joel Osteen quite harshly. They do not approve of his messages and feel he is not espousing Biblical principles accurately. They view him as a motivational speaker, not a pastor delivering God’s word.

Whenever I hear these attacks, my mind immediately starts
judging: “Who are these people to criticize Joel Osteen?”
Doesn’t the Bible say “Judge not, lest ye be judged?” And my mind goes off on a rampage, judging those who are judging Joel Osteen. Then I have to remind myself to get back on my Judgment Diet - that these judgments are just making me tense and angry.

Think about the non-judgmental people who you have had the pleasure to meet in your life. When you’re around anyone who is non-judgmental, you feel so much better about yourself. When we feel accepted, we like ourselves. There is a lightness that we feel - physically, emotionally and spiritually.

On the other hand, when we are judging others, or when we are judged, we don’t have that same positive feeling. There is a tightness. We feel it physically, and we also sense a constriction of our spirit.

Once we start judging, we stop loving. That should be enough to convince us to stop judging.

In addition, our judgments do not change the people or events we are judging. And yet our minds continue to generate one judgment after another. We hear about a violent act and we judge the perpetrator. Someone at work fails to fulfill his responsibility and we judge him. Our neighbor’s yard is messy, and we judge that person.

I suppose we are “brainwashed” to judge from an early age. Our parents, even if they were loving, judged us and others. Our teachers judge us. Our friends and relatives judge us. Our employers and co-workers judge us. The media bombards us with judgment. I guess all these judgments take a toll and we automatically become “judgment machines” ourselves.

Whenever I run across someone who is non-judgmental, I always ask, How did you accomplish this? No one has ever given me a “formula” to follow. They will respond by saying something like, “I’m just that way.” So I’m left to solve this puzzle on my own.

I like the way I feel when I am not judging others so I’m going to stay on my Judgment Diet. I invite you to join me. And if you ever find the “secret” to giving up judgment, please let me know!

– Jeff Keller
© 2008