The Judgment Diet Revisited
Here’s a follow-up on my message that was sent to you on January 4. (“The Judgment Diet”). After that message was sent, many of you sent e-mails to let me know that you, too, were struggling with the issue of making countless judgments. Many of you pledged to join me on my “Judgment Diet.”
Some subscribers offered excellent suggestions about how they avoid judging. I don’t have space here to include all of them, but I will share one subscriber’s insights; she referred to Luke 6:41:
“I’ll paraphrase. ‘You can take the splinter out of my own eye, when you take the plank out of yours.’ My husband used to quote this Bible scripture to me over the years, and it slowly sank in. It always made me stop and think. Who am I to judge others? Haven’t I done plenty of things wrong, and continue to do so, even if they’re not exactly the same bad things that others are doing?”
I found her suggestion to be quite helpful. And yet, I have to confess that I suffered a setback on my Judgment Diet. That’s right. I did a lot of judging the past ten days. Let me explain. Those in the U.S. are probably familiar with the recent stories involving major league baseball pitcher Roger Clemens and his ongoing battle with his personal trainer, Brian McNamee. Clemens is considered one of the best pitchers of all time. For those who may not be familiar, here are the pertinent facts.
As you may know, many athletes (including some Olympic athletes) have used steroids to build muscle and enhance their performance. These substances are often illegal and the use of them is considered “cheating.” Many Olympic athletes have been forced to give back their medals because they tested positive for banned substances.
The Commissioner of Major League Baseball asked former U.S. Senator George Mitchell to investigate steroid use in baseball. During that investigation, McNamee testified that on numerous occasions, at the request of Clemens, McNamee injected Clemens with steroids.
Clemens has accused the trainer of lying and said he never received any injections of steroids. He said the trainer only injected him with vitamin B-12 and legal painkilling medication. Clemens has gone on TV to call McNamee a liar. He filed a lawsuit against the trainer for defamation.
Where do I fit in here? I believe that Clemens is lying. I find myself judging him and condemning him because he won’t tell the truth – and is trying to discredit the trainer (who I believe is telling the truth).
First of all, I can’t possibly know for sure which of these men is lying. I wasn’t there when the injections were given. In addition, I have no stake in what happened. No matter who is telling the truth, it has absolutely no affect on my life. Yet I continue to judge Clemens and feel what he is doing is wrong – and that he should be punished in some way if he is proven to be lying.
For whatever reason, lying is an act that “pushes my buttons.” It annoys me and I judge the person who I feel is lying. It’s simply a part of my conditioning. There’s no doubt that our behavior can change. But let’s not kid ourselves and deny the power of our conditioning.
Here is what I am learning: I don’t loosen the hold of judgment by fighting it or trying to resist it. If I grit my teeth and say “I shouldn’t be judging him”, all I am doing is judging myself AND judging the other person. What works better is to accept that I am judging right now, but just watching it as a casual, impartial observer. I can say to myself, “There I go again, judging someone,” and watch it, without giving it any energy. I can then let it float out of my mind.
When we shine the light of awareness on our judgment, and simply observe it, we have a better chance of staying on our Judgment Diet. There is much truth to the oft quoted phrase, “What you resist, persists.”
Be gentle with yourself and your judgments. If you make a judgment, don’t deny that you are doing it. Don’t condemn yourself for doing it. Just observe that you are judging, giving it as little energy as possible. You will find that the energy dissipates and you will be a little less likely to judge the next time someone pushes your buttons.
I don’t know anyone who gave up judging overnight. So, I’m back on my Judgment Diet, and I’m willing to accept progress as it comes. A calm awareness will show the way.
– Jeff Keller
© 2008