It’s OK to be Inconsistent
About 10 years ago, I wrote an article on the virtues of consistency and the evils of inconsistency. I made some valuable points in that article, but if I were to re-write it now, I would not be so harsh in my evaluation of “inconsistency.”
In this message, I am not referring to consistency and inconsistency as they apply to the completion of physical tasks. We want consistency when it comes to a brain surgeon operating on us. We want consistency when we entrust our packages to a courier service to make an overnight delivery.
I’ll be addressing inconsistency in these two contexts:
1. Changing your mind, such as on a political, social or spiritual issue.
2. Allowing for individual assessments of situations, as opposed to following a uniform rule. (such as the penalty to be given to two people who break the same law)
Yes, inconsistency has its place in our lives. It is not the villain we make it out to be. Most of us fight our inconsistent thoughts and beliefs, as if they should be avoided at all costs. The mind looks for consistency. It feels safe following the set of “rules” it has previously followed. We often think we are showing weakness if we are inconsistent.
Consider your political beliefs or your beliefs on any subject (such as prison systems, the environment, world peace, or feeding the hungry). Have your beliefs changed at all in the last 20, 30 or 40 years? If they changed, you haven’t been consistent in this area. One time you believed one way. Now you believe another way. So what? That’s a good thing, not a bad thing. In all likelihood, your life experiences have shaped your beliefs over time. Five days from now, your beliefs may change again.
For a moment, let’s examine your thoughts and philosophy as they relate to raising children. Would you say that your approach now is exactly the same as it was when your first child was born? Perhaps you do have the same views, but there’s an excellent chance you learned something over the years that caused you to alter your original viewpoint. Your approach now would be inconsistent with your earlier approach.
If you’re learning and growing as a person, I’d expect you to change some of your beliefs, to be inconsistent over time. I confess that I’ve changed many of my beliefs over the years, and I plan to keep doing so. Life isn’t that easy to figure out, and I have a lot to learn. It would make no sense to strive for consistency, so I try to remain open and not get locked into any positions.
In certain instances, we feel that consistency must be maintained, without exception. Love and honesty are two examples that quickly come to mind. Can we ever justify being inconsistent in these areas?
We’ll start with love. If you were being attacked by a madman with a club, would you extend loving thoughts to the attacker and let him continue to pound you? Or would you defend yourself and hit him back? No matter how loving you claim to be, I’m guessing you would use force and harm the madman if that was necessary to stop the attack.
Here’s another example. Many of us would say that all forms of life are sacred. If a mosquito landed on your arm and was about to bite you, would you swat or kill the mosquito? Crushing the mosquito doesn’t seem like a loving act, but you know that is what most people would do in that circumstance.
Let’s move on to honesty. Is it important to always be honest, or is it acceptable, under certain circumstances, to be dishonest? Assume a father and his 10 year old son are in a terrible car accident. The father was immediately killed and the son is in critical condition, his life hanging by a thread. You are a nurse in the hospital emergency room. Although the boy is groggy, he looks up at you and says, “Is my dad ok?”
The doctor next to you whispers in your ear, “Tell him his dad is ok, because he can’t handle the news right now in his condition.” Would you insist on being honest in this situation… or would you lie to the boy? Isn’t lying the loving choice in this example?
Life is not black and white. We can’t be consistent all the time, as situations will arise where our heart tells us to be inconsistent. There are times we know that being inconsistent is the right thing for us to do.
It is the mind that demands consistency of beliefs and practices. The spirit honors consistency but realizes that consistency is not always the wisest approach. Don’t get me wrong. I love consistency. I like to interact with people who are consistently loving, consistently honest, consistently dependable. I want our legal system to be relatively consistent.
Yet I know inconsistency has its virtues. I expect people to change their minds on certain issues as they learn and expand their life experience. I believe that rules, while valuable, can’t fit every situation – and that bending the rules sometimes makes sense. Justice is often served when we are willing to be inconsistent.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that consistency is for “small minds.” I agree. I’ve found that our spirit is capable of making the right decision in each moment. It doesn’t have to look back and see what we did the last four times a similar situation arose.
Let your mind scream all it wants about the “need” for consistency. Feel free to change your mind. Feel free to be inconsistent and exercise some discretion when you think the situation calls for it. Your heart knows when to break the rules, or when to shift beliefs. Your heart knows that it’s ok to be inconsistent.
– Jeff Keller
© 2008