An Angel from God
Today’s message was contributed by Jack Stem, one of the subscribers to this newsletter. I have so much respect for Jack’s courage, his honesty, and the work he is doing to help those who are struggling with substance abuse and addiction.
– Jeff Keller
An Angel from God
Contributed by Jack Stem
I am a recovering addict. This incident occurred at the hospital where I practiced anesthesia. I was a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist at the time and was at the absolute bottom of my bottom in my disease.
As the majority of recovering addicts will tell you, our self image is that we are the lowest form of life on the planet because of the things we are doing as a result of our dependence on a chemical or chemicals. In order to maintain a sense of normalcy, just to make it through the day without going into withdrawal, it was necessary to steal drugs from the hospital.
As my disease grew stronger and I sank further into the dark pit of despair, it became clear to me that my death was the only way out of this entire mess. My mere existence was becoming more and more painful for the people I loved most in my life, and the embarrassment and shame I would bring them when I was finally caught would be the final blow, and I didn’t want that to happen. So one morning, when I had a break in my scheduled cases, I had decided I would commit suicide. I mixed 2 powerful drugs together to make sure I accomplished my goal.
As I made my way to the stall in the locker room where I would shoot up my concoction, an obstetrical resident came storming into the locker room ranting and raving about some difficulty he had just encountered. He was pacing back and forth, his lab coat flowing behind him like the wings of a large bird flapping furiously.
He was between me and the stall where I planned to fix my problem once and for all, effectively preventing me from entering my chosen death chamber. This went on for about ten to 15 minutes or so. Suddenly he stopped, apologized for being so “unprofessional” and dumping his anger and frustration on a stranger. He shook my hand, thanked me for listening (I couldn’t tell you a single word he had said!) and left the locker room.
In the short period of time he spent in my life, he had given me the opportunity to change my mind about committing suicide.
When I talked with several people about this obstetrical resident with the shock of red hair and temperament to match, no one knew who I was talking about. No one fit the description I gave of the young doctor. I bumped into the chief resident later that day and described his resident with the flaming mane and fiery attitude, and he told me there were no obstetrical residents in the program with red hair…male or female!
There is no doubt in my mind this “man” was an angel sent by God to prevent me from killing the father of two beautiful daughters, and the son of wonderful parents. Even though I have struggled over the 18 years since that incident, I wouldn’t trade a single moment of my life in that time.
Yes, I eventually lost my profession after two relapses and a felony conviction five years later. But I have discovered life isn’t about how much money I have, or what my station is in a chosen profession. It’s about relationships…with those I meet on this journey, and with Jesus Christ.
I still get chills when I share this incident with others. I can smell the locker room and see the red hair and white lab coat as though it just happened. I shudder to think about one of the most wonderful days I would have missed if the angel hadn’t intervened, my oldest daughter’s wedding. As we walked down that aisle, she said to me, “Daddy, I’m glad you’re here with me today.”
– Jack Stem
© 2008
Jack Stem speaks about addiction and recovery to health care professionals, churches and schools, and is the Chairman of the peer assistance committee for Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetists in Ohio. Jack helps others who are struggling with substance abuse and addiction, including family, friends and colleagues. (http://www.jackstem.com) In addition, Jack is an extremely talented portrait artist. You can view samples of his work at http://www.jackstem.com/painless-portraits.htm