Accepting What Is
This is a subject that I continually revisit, as I am finding it very important on my own spiritual journey. Perhaps it can open some doors for you as well.
“What is” simply refers to whatever is showing up in your life at any moment. This includes your circumstances (finances, health, relationships, family, career, etc.), your thoughts and your emotions. It is what you experience, and how you feel at any moment. It is the reality of Now.
Some people have difficulty with the word “accepting” in this context. They feel it means being resigned to the situation or being content with it. Whether I call it “allowing,” “accepting” or “surrendering,” I am not putting a judgment on the event as being good or bad, positive or negative. It is an approach that offers no resistance to the present moment.
The vast majority of us have been conditioned to fight or resist those present moment experiences that we don’t like. When our house burns down, or we lose our job, we resist what is happening. The mind quickly says something like, “This isn’t fair” or “This shouldn’t be happening.”
Many negative thoughts then arise and often overtake us, at least temporarily. Of course, there isn’t any problem when we like what is happening. We feel good and we tend to have a series of positive thoughts. Life is wonderful, until something happens that we don’t like. Then we resist and fight what is.
Whenever you resist what is, you will suffer. Your mental attempts to fight what is will never produce a positive result. In the end, you are left with a circumstance you don’t like, and punishing thoughts to add to your misery.
Notice the feeling in your body when you resist or fight what is. You’re going to find in almost all cases that you are tense – your body contracts. Your mind races with negative thoughts and projections. You also feel many unpleasant emotions.
Resisting the flow of life is painful. It only adds to the uneasiness you are feeling as a result of the circumstance you are unhappy about.
On one level, you might admit that some of what I am saying makes sense. Yet your mind may quickly jump in and say, “How can I accept what is when I am told I have a life threatening illness? How can I accept what is when I get fired from my job? How can I accept what is if my child is killed? I’d be crazy to accept a negative situation in my life.”
We all know that we can’t change what has just happened. If you broke your leg, you broke your leg. It is a reality. Mind chatter or negative emotions such as fear or anger won’t undo what happened. Even your mind realizes that lashing out against what is doesn’t change what just occurred.
Yet the mind uses another strategy that draws you into resisting what is. Here’s how it works. After the negative event happens, you have been conditioned to believe that you must fight or resist the situation in order to improve it. You believe that emotions such as anger or fear provide fuel that will lead you to the best solution for your circumstances.
In other words, your mind has you believing that if you surrender to the “negative” situation, you will remain passive and the negative situation will continue.
I am finding that this is not true. In fact, the opposite is true. When you don’t fight what is, the mind is silent, and effective solutions and actions are communicated to you. This is the information that flows from life or spirit, as opposed to the chatter of the mind.
When you accept what is, you will not be passive or refuse to act. You will take the right action at the right time. This guidance system is far superior to the thoughts generated by the resisting mind.
This doesn’t mean your situation will always be resolved in the way you want. Your mind can’t promise you that either. Your mind can’t assure you that you will be healed of every illness, or that you will always have job security.
Allowing what is, and not fighting it, puts an end to the suffering. You don’t need your mind to judge what is, or to fight what is. It is not being the helpful force you take it to be. Rather, it is throwing gasoline on the fire.
As long as you identify very strongly with your BODY, you will find it difficult to surrender to what is. Although the body is nothing more than a speck in eternity, the mind persuades us that the body is where all of the focus should be placed. The body IS in jeopardy and it IS temporary. All of us will die. When you begin to see that what happens to the body can never touch your true essence, you will no longer fight what is happening to the body.
This is not an easy place to reach. I’m not there yet either. But I’m not fighting what is as much as I used to. And my spirit lets me know, without question, that I am on the right path.
– Jeff Keller
© 2008