Quiet the Mind (Part 3)
Now its time to discuss specific techniques to quiet the mind.
One word of caution before we move forward: these methods are not a substitute for professional counseling. If you have depression or anxiety, you should consult with a health professional to determine if these methods are appropriate for you.
Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of the following suggestions. They are very effective if you approach them with an open mind and have the discipline to apply them.
1. Spend some time each day sitting quietly by yourself and do nothing. This sounds too easy, but you may find it a lot more challenging when you actually practice it. All I’m asking you to do is sit down in a chair or on a couch and do nothing. Just sit there. No other distractions are allowed. No radio. No TV. You don’t read a book or a newspaper. You just sit. By the way, you’re allowed to move your arms, legs and body while sitting. Be comfortable, but stay seated.
You can look around the room. You can even look at what’s going on outside if there are windows in the room. Or you can look straight ahead without focusing on anything in particular.
If nothing else, you’re going to notice a lot of the imperfections on the ceiling, walls and furniture in the room!
For the first few days, sit quietly for only 5 minutes. As that becomes easier, you can extend your daily session to 10 or 15 minutes. For those who can work their way up to 20 or 30 minutes each day, that is even better. Go at your own pace.
Some of you will have no problem sitting still and will actually enjoy the peace. Others will be restless after a minute or two, with your mind racing and wanting to engage in some activity. You will resist this non-activity and tell yourself it’s silly, and a waste of time. Don’t be hard on yourself. There is no right or wrong here. Just make the commitment to start with 5 minutes a session and build up from there.
Of course, before these sessions, shut off you cell phone and all technology devices. The world will be there when you get up. By the way, eventually, you should be able to sit still for an hour or more and be perfectly content. I’m not saying you have to sit for an hour. Just build up to 15 – 30 minutes a day and you will make tremendous progress in quieting your mind. If your home is very noisy, perhaps you can do this exercise at work during part of your lunch break.
For those who have difficulty falling asleep at night because your mind won’t shut off, this is a great exercise to do right before you go to bed. You will be much calmer as you’re slowing your mind before bed. Too many of us stimulate our minds right before going to sleep by reading, watching TV or using a computer. Our minds rev up and we can’t fall asleep. Sitting quietly before bed isn’t guaranteed to allow you to fall asleep immediately, but it can only help.
Now I want to move on to another effective technique to help you quiet the mind.
2. Become an observer of your negative thoughts and emotions. When negative thoughts or emotions come up, we tend to resist them or run away from them. We want them to go away as fast as possible. So we try to think positive thoughts or do something to distract us from the negative thoughts and feelings.
Instead, I’m asking you to take a radically different approach. ALLOW the negative thought or emotion to be there. Just watch it as if you were an impartial observer. It’s almost as if it is happening to someone else, and you are just observing from the sidelines.
Do not try to get rid of it and don’t be annoyed with it. Just observe it impartially. You may think that this will make the situation worse – that you will be imbedding the negative thought or emotion even more deeply. You will find the opposite is true if you stick with it. When you simply observe the negativity – and allow it to be there — it will dissolve on its own. It will pass from your field of awareness just as a cloud passes through the sky.
The negative thought or emotion might come up quickly again. Just watch the thought, or if it is a feeling, allow yourself to feel the tenseness in your head or stomach or wherever it shows up. Remember to be an impartial observer or witness, and don’t resist the thought or feeling. You are shining the light of awareness on it and this will help the thought or sensation to move on.
You’re going to have to play with this exercise for a while to get the hang of it. At the beginning, you may think you’re watching the thought or emotion, whereas in fact you may be resisting it, or at the very least hoping it will go away soon. As the saying goes, what you resist, persists. Play the role of the relaxed observer.
There’s a part of us that knows that fighting or running away from something never heals the condition. Avoidance or battle is a temporary solution at best. It’s only a matter of time before the unwanted thoughts and emotions return.
The very practice of being AWARE of the thought and emotion has extraordinary healing power. If we can face it, we can heal it.
I’ve bombarded your mind with enough material for one sitting. Start using these techniques and listen to what your heart tells you. I’ll pick up the discussion in the next newsletter.
In the meantime, let me know your experiences with these exercises.
– Jeff Keller
© 2008