Quiet the Mind (Part 7)
In this message, I’ll be discussing another technique to quiet the mind. Here it is:
BECOME LESS INTERESTED IN OPINIONS.
This includes your own opinions and the opinions of others.
Before getting involved in this topic, I must admit that this message will be full of contradictions. There is no way to cover this subject without contradictions. Here I am, asking you to give up your preoccupation with opinions, and much of what I am offering are my opinions. In fact, in all of the essays I’ve sent you since this newsletter began, I’m giving you my opinions and commenting on the opinions of others.
And yet I’m sticking with my earlier advice: Become less interested in opinions. That includes becoming less interested in my opinions. You don’t need to be in favor of my opinions, or against them. Let them be. By doing so, you will quiet your mind and find more peace.
Some of you are thinking that there is an important distinction between your opinions and FACTS. In other words, some things are simply not debatable. As I see it, what you claim as fact is just another one of your opinions. You’re free to disagree with my opinion on this issue.
We live in a world where opinions are given tremendous importance. We aggressively hold opinions that our beliefs are right and that those who disagree are wrong. We do this with our religious and spiritual beliefs. We do this with our political views. We do this with our social views about how people should look, dress, and act.
Watch any of the news shows or talk shows on TV and there is an endless parade of people offering their opinions on the issues of the day. One person argues for one side of the issue. Another person argues for the other side. Often the people get personal and start to ridicule the person holding the other view.
These opinions put your mind and ego into a busy state. You root FOR the person holding your view and AGAINST the person expressing the contrary view. The same holds true for message boards we find online. The mind finds it difficult to remain civil when engaged in a clash of opinions. Invariably, these discussions end up in shouting contests and a battle of egos.
Consider your own experience with opposing opinions. When you meet someone who disagrees with you on an issue, your mind launches into action, often going on the attack to fight for your opinion. Your body follows right behind, and you feel tension. You lose any heart to heart connection with the other person. You are “locking horns” at the level of the mind – seeing the other person as different, or in some cases as “the enemy.”
Interestingly, even when you run across someone who agrees with your opinion, you’ll tend to activate your chattering mind as the two of you engage in discussion to bolster your opinions. The two egos can take comfort in being on the “right” side. Eventually, you’re likely to move into a conversation where both of you can criticize those who hold a different view.
We are taught to think that holding opinions or “standing for something” is helpful and makes the world a better place. In some ways, this is true. We can certainly say that those who hold an opinion that prejudice is wrong help to establish equal rights and encourage respect for all. Those who speak up for the oppressed help to protect them. Thus, holding an opinion can benefit society.
I told you there were going to be contradictions in this message.
Opinions, in my opinion, cause more problems than they solve. Sure, there are those opinions like those I mentioned above, where we can argue that they improve the world. But let’s be honest and look at the vast majority of our opinions – the ones running through our mind throughout the day.
Do they bring us peace? Do they help to solve our problems? Do they improve the world? Do they make us more compassionate?
I would answer NO to those questions – although that’s only my opinion.
What can we do about our opinions? I am finding it best to just let them be. It won’t help to resist them. That only makes them stronger. Instead, we can apply a technique I offered in Part 3 of this series: just observe these thoughts and accompanying emotions as an impartial witness. You are watching the thoughts and emotions generated by the opinion without being “attached” to them. If you do this, they will begin to dissolve and will drift out of your consciousness, like clouds moving through the sky.
Equally important, we can voice our opinions less and less. Or to put it more bluntly, we can keep our mouths shut. Voicing our opinions is like poking a stick at a nest of hornets. It leads to a lot of buzzing, activity and defensiveness.
We don’t have to discuss our political beliefs with everyone we meet. In 99% of the cases, the discussion serves no purpose other than to attempt to prove how clever we are and how we are right.
If you feel that you MUST engage in such discussions to make the world a better place, go right ahead. I’m not stopping you. You may come to recognize that you can only do so if you are willing to give up the possibility of attaining a quiet mind. It’s one or the other.
Since we are in the midst of a presidential campaign in the U.S., you might ask if I have given up my opinions and if I have kept my mouth shut. I haven’t. But I am more aware of my opinions as they arise, and I am allowing more of them to pass without feeling the need to comment.
There is also the issue of passion to consider. Passion is given high praise in most societies. Many people have been conditioned to believe that it is important to be passionate about our opinions, and that we will be boring if we don’t hold strong opinions. This sounds logical, but I have not found it to be true.
I’ve been around many people with strong opinions, including those who share my opinion. Being with them, engaging in discussions with them, does not bring me peace. I may get excited temporarily, but I don’t feel peaceful, loving or compassionate at those times.
If you ever have the good fortune of being around someone who has a quiet mind and has no need to convince anyone of anything, you are more likely to know what peace is, what compassion is. I would trade that for passion any day, although I realize most would not.
The person with a quiet mind allows ALL opinions to be as they are. They aren’t in favor of some opinions, and against others. They allow people to hold whatever opinions they want. They allow their own opinions to arise without judgment. They are compassionate and accepting toward all.
There is a fine line between apathy and holding too many opinions. We don’t want to reach the point where we don’t care. On the other hand, we don’t want to get our minds in a frenzy advancing and defending our points of view, where little good comes from it.
Perhaps one way to resolve this is to ask your heart. If you ask your mind whether to express an opinion, the mind will almost always say, “Yes, let’s do it.” If you ask your heart about voicing an opinion, your heart will often tell you “No, there is nothing to gain by going there.” In those instances where your heart tells you to get engaged in your opinions, you’ll know that you are doing it for the right reason.
Become less interested in your own opinions and the opinions of others. It will go a long way to quieting the mind. Don’t be concerned about becoming boring or passive. The opposite will happen. Many people will be drawn to you and your stillness. This is a stillness that is alive and energized.
May we all experience the benefits of a quiet mind.
– Jeff Keller
© 2008