The Courage to Walk Away
Two prominent female sports figures made a decision in 2008 that shocked many people. Each decided to retire, and most people felt that these retirements were premature. In other words, people felt these athletes could have continued to compete successfully for many more years.
Golfer Annika Sorenstam, probably the most accomplished female golfer in history, announced at the age of 37 that this would be her last year of playing on the professional tour. She said she had other priorities and had tasted what it is like to be on top. She had nothing left to prove by continuing to play on the professional golf tour.
Tennis star Justine Henin, at the age of 25, announced her retirement, effective immediately, in May of 2008. She had won 7 major singles titles and earned millions of dollars. Henin was ranked the #1 player in the world for more than 100 weeks. She said that she had lost the will to play and decided “to stop fooling myself and accept it.” Tennis fans were shocked that she could just walk away from the game at such a young age and with so many good years ahead of her.
The New York Times on Sunday, October 19, 2008 published a fascinating story about an 18 year old woman who had been the most highly recruited female basketball player in the nation. Elena Delle Donne, who is 6 feet, 5 inches tall, was recruited to play basketball at the University of Connecticut.
Elena enrolled at the University of Connecticut in June and after a few days, she left the school, gave up her scholarship and enrolled at the University of Delaware, where she is playing volleyball because she enjoys it. She explained that she was “burned out” on basketball at the age of 18.
Can you imagine how difficult this decision must have been for her – to walk away after a few days – when she knew she would be disappointing her family and also those at the University of Connecticut who were counting on her to be a star performer?
It would be easy to judge Elena and say that she is young, immature and didn’t give her college experience a reasonable chance. I see it differently. She was unhappy at the University of Connecticut and realized that for now, she would get no enjoyment out of playing basketball there. She felt that it was like working at a job where you don’t get paid for it. Why endure a college experience like that?
It doesn’t matter how much basketball talent she possesses if she doesn’t want to play basketball. Perhaps she will want to play basketball again in another environment at some point in the future.
I think that all three of these examples demonstrate a powerful principle: when your heart is not in the activities you are doing, walk away. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. It doesn’t matter if you are at the top of your sport (or career), or just beginning.
I’m not saying we should act irresponsibly and walk away when our actions or inactions will harm others who are depending on us. We can’t walk out on every job we don’t like if we don’t have a way to support family members who are counting on us.
However, when we stick with what we are doing because of what other people will think, or because we are afraid of an unknown future, we guarantee the continuation of our misery. We will suffer emotionally and physically as we try to force ourselves to override the clear message of our heart.
Most of us will face situations in our lives when we know it’s time to walk away from some activity. It no longer feels right and we know life is pushing us to move in another direction.
Yet we’re afraid of what the new path might bring. We are even more afraid of how others will view our decision if we just walk away from something we’ve done for a while.
When discomfort arises, you can try as hard as you want to get your head to override your heart. You can come up with a hundred reasons why you should keep doing what you are doing. None of these mental justifications will work in the long run.
When your heart tells you to walk away, walk away. You may encounter a period of confusion and uncertainty. Yet afterward, you’ll gain a sense of peace and clarity — and it’s likely that you will never regret your decision to walk away.
If you have any examples in your life where you walked away – or didn’t walk away – please send me an email describing your experience. Perhaps others can benefit from your experiences and insights.
– Jeff Keller
© 2008