What You’ve Learned (More Reader Comments)
Here are more comments I received from subscribers in response to my message, What You’ve Learned, published on November 11, 2008. If you want to read that message, go to www.YourSpiritualJourney.net .
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“My tolerance level has increased. I accept opinions that differ to mine and I am able to listen to them, and move on without opposing them vocally as I did before.
I have realised that all relationships touch our lives in some way and as such we need not fear to meet new persons however different they might be to us.
I am able to give tough love to my children without feeling guilty, for as long as I know by giving the tough love I am teaching valuable lessons for their own good.
I have realised that no matter how small we may feel a kind deed is it has great impact, resulting in a chain reaction of more kind deeds performed by several others as it motivates the recipients of kindness to be kind to another. I have realised that fostering relationships is to me the most important thing in this life. Just a telephone call or an e-mail saying that you care can lift ones spirit.”
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“God is a very hard teacher .HE puts us into test making us to learn the lessons after that.
The most important lesson for me, is that, we should take life as it comes, without probing , why this for me, why this trouble for me. If HE gives happiness we are not asking HIM why to me but the other way round. The reasons for everything that happens to us has some reasons .
As a firm believer of KARMA theory , I had taken the worst that happened to me as it was- two years back-my beloved wife was snatched away suddenly by fate ,leaving me alone, since my two married daughters are abroad. The path I decided to pursue was to lead a peaceful life doing service to the society seeing my beloved wife in that (doing under the trust started with my departed wife’s name). I have also learned that it is not the world that distresses but the way we interpret the happenings in our world. Also our home should be the center, not the periphery of our action. We cannot rewrite the past but certainly the future thru our good thoughts and deeds. These valuable lessons I have learnt with the crucial test of GOD thru my beloved wife’s death.”
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“A lesson learned for me in the last 5 years was the birth of my grandson. I call it, My New Love. Before his birth, I guess I really did not understand what love is. Sure, I felt love before his birth, but never really understood love. What his birth taught me is this. You journey through life and have various associations with loved ones. They are your Mother, your Father, your Brother your Sister. Now compare the love for the four. Is your love exactly the same for your mother as it is for your father? Do you find the love of your mother different as the love of your father? I did. My mother was kind and gentle and always was there to pick me up and console my sole. My father was a leader of the family and a disciplinarian at times, but you would feel his love through his fatherly talks and assurances. Then there is the love of a brother and sister. Each has its place in joy and comfort but they are different. Now examine the love of Friends and examine how you love them different than your entire family.
Once you become your own family, you quickly realize loves in your Spouse and Children.
Then you have a Grandchild. For me, this struck me hard and all I could talk about was my grandson. Why was I so giddy over him? The feeling overwhelmed me and this is when I realized, a grandchild is another love! It was his birth that woke me up to realize God gives us all types of love that “we” internalize and do what we want with. It is up to us to become giddy about the love and make it special.
I liken love to a greenhouse of different flowers. If you take one flower that you particularly like and give it the most fertile soil and water it consistently, it will flourish. If you have other flowers that you have determined were beautiful, but not as beautiful as your new flower, you may place it further away from your attention and not give it as much fertile soil and water. The result usually is a withering away. You could start paying attention to these again and bring them back to life, couldn’t you? Now look at your loves and examine what has withered. Can you bring it back to life?
My new love in my Grandchild taught me to go back and look at all the rest of my loves and rekindle the love I have for them too.”
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“A couple of things that were not important to me before now are very important to me. It is important to me to recycle and play active roles to keep planet Earth green and liveable for future generations to enjoy. Another is that I learned how important it is to build relationships with people just having been in a managerial position. Before, I was very task-oriented; I was always interested in getting things done. I learned how time is a very precious commodity that cannot be replenished with money. Even though I am only in my 30s, I see each year goes by faster than ever, and I try to make each day an enjoyable and productive one from my perspective. I learned how important it is to slow down and smell the roses. Now, I try to be present around people and really listen to what they are saying to me. I am learning to be more reflective of my actions and goals by taking mini breaks, vacations, walks, and journaling if I can discipline myself to do it consistently.
Before it was important for me to have a materialistic life, but now it’s evolving to a lower priority. Now, I want to learn and understand about people, different cultures, life, travel, career development, etc.”
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“I have learned that with the best management theories, His game plans are difficult to
understand.
I am talking here of my experience mostly at the work place. There are a number of situations where we analyze different scenarios and prepare ourselves using the best management tools, using (so called) proven theories. Still, that is not enough and God has his own game plans.
There are many situations that are unprecedented and we have to surrender.
We work with limited inputs and information while working with these theories whereas He has unlimited ways to force us into new directions. This is one reason why refinements are always required in management theories. We can never catch Him in absolute terms.”
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The most important thing I’ve learned in life is that “I just don’t know.”
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“Keys for me now that I am semi retired are: learning to relax more, listen better and reach out a helping hand to others where you can.”
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“I used to see God as fearsome, and I used to believe in Hell. Now I believe God is forgiving and loving beyond our capacity to imagine and while Hell is a useful concept to fear that keeps us on the right track, that God has not cast anyone in Hell, not a single soul. Also I used to fear or dread death; in the last 10 years I have had two bouts of cancer where I experienced death’s door. There I experienced the GREAT BENEVOLENCE of God, to know how good HE is, how much he loves every single person who lived, is now living and will ever live. I feel death is not bad but NATURAL, as natural as being born, and that life has a beginning and an end and I see my life as this special privilege in time.
I used to think the world was harsh and a difficult place, but now I see it as a Garden of Eden that is not getting any respect and is being trashed. How I have changed my outlook in the last 10 years in how I live? I value sacrifice, thrift, study, order, simplicity, responsibility, intelligence, spiritual peace through, for example, meditation. I used to but don’t anymore, value fashion, family gatherings in huge gluttonous feasts. I used to be an afraid person and now I am not afraid.
Ten years ago I thought America was rich but now I see America is not run well and is actually poor. I believe America and maybe the world, is at the beginning of an extreme financial depression and that families will have no choice but to gather together and sacrifice in many ways to physically survive. But I grew up at the end of the last great depression and know that it is all do-able.”
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I want to thank all those who took the time to share their experiences and life lessons. All are valuable, even though I was not able to include all of them in this newsletter.
– Jeff Keller