Role Models
In the U.S. these days, there has been a lot of talk about swimmer Michael Phelps and baseball star Alex Rodriguez.
For those who may not be sports fans, Michael Phelps is 23 years-old and won a record 8 gold medals at the Beijing Olympic games. A few weeks ago, a picture surfaced showing Phelps with a marijuana pipe.
Alex Rodriguez plays for the New York Yankees and is one of the most accomplished baseball players of all time. Recently, he admitted that he used performance enhancing drugs (steroids) between 2001 and 2003. He had previously denied that he ever used steroids.
Much of the discussion in the U.S. has come from adults who are disappointed that these two individuals (Phelps and Rodriguez) have failed to serve as role models, or good examples, for America’s youth.
The argument goes like this: you are a celebrity and kids look up to you. Thus, you SHOULD behave in a way that is moral and ethical.
I’ve been thinking that this whole concept of role models really makes little sense. How can we tell others how they “should” act? Why would we expect them to be able to act in the way we want them to act?
Does your spouse always act as a perfect role model? Did your mother or father always act as a perfect role model? Most importantly, do YOU always act as the example for today’s youth?
It makes no sense to single out famous people (often young people in sports and the entertainment industry) and set them up as role models.
Famous people – like all people – are what they are. Telling them what they should be, or how they should act, is living in a fantasy world.
Michael Phelps is probably the best swimmer ever to dive into a pool. But he is also a young guy – and he is acting as many 23-year-olds act. In 2004, he was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol. Recently, he was caught with a marijuana pipe. And now we condemn him for not living up to our expectations and for not setting a good example for our children.
Michael Phelps is not a saint – and the same can be said of you and me. We have done things that are not considered “perfect” moral and ethical conduct.
By the way, have you ever driven a vehicle under the influence of alcohol? You may not have been pulled over by the police, but many of you will admit that at some time in your life (especially during the ages of 18-25), you drove after drinking some alcohol. It is only by the grace of God that no harm flowed from your action and that your name didn’t end up in the newspaper. I’m also willing to go out on a limb and guess that one or two of you could have been captured in a photo holding, or worse yet, inhaling, a marijuana cigarette.
People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
Alex Rodriguez, for all his talent, is a man with many flaws. So what? Why should we expect him to change his ways and be a role model for our youth?
When stories of “misconduct” are revealed about athletes or celebrities, we then expect them to go around the country – or the world – to preach to youth about the dangers of engaging in the conduct they engaged in (such as drinking alcohol or taking drugs). It’s what we EXPECT them to do, regardless of whether they want to do it. To please others and continue to earn large amounts of money, these celebrities often agree to act as we want them to act.
Why not just drop this idea of setting up people as role models? I don’t need to look to famous people or “unknown” people to determine how I should act. The very idea of telling someone else how they should act is insane. Who am I to tell anyone how to act?
When we expect celebrities to act like perfect human beings, all we’re doing is setting up a situation where failure is inevitable. And then, instead of questioning the concept of role models, we condemn the celebrity who committed the misconduct.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t admire the qualities in others that we find praiseworthy, and that we may want to adopt as our own. Many athletes and celebrities are marvelous examples of hard work, persistence and courage. They inspire us – and today’s youth — to develop these traits.
But we get in trouble when we expect these human beings to be what they are not. Michael Phelps is a young man who still wants to have fun and party. Whether you agree with his actions or not, he’s being himself. That’s the real Michael Phelps. I’m not judging him for being what he is – just accepting it.
Same is true for Alex Rodriguez. He has his insecurities, his egotistical ways, marital infidelities and other flaws. Just like the rest of us. Alex is being who he is, not who we want him to be.
Many will say that they accomplished things in life or developed character because they had a role model, such as their father, mother or grandparent. However, in these instances, the person who was admired did not try to become a role model by being something they were not.
And if we look closely even at our most cherished role models, we will find that they too had flaws, that not every act they committed in their lives was worthy of imitation or praise.
I don’t think we need to look outside ourselves to find the right way to live. All we need is to connect with our essence, the Divine spark within.
If a person surrenders his or her will to God and lives accordingly, what else is needed? Wouldn’t moral and ethical conduct flow from that commitment? Why not teach that approach to our children?
That is just one option. I’m sure you could come up with many other approaches that would serve our youth.
What doesn’t serve our children is to expect famous people to be what they are not.
– Jeff Keller
© 2009