For a few years, I kept hearing the name of Father Anthony de Mello. His teachings and his books were very highly recommended by spiritual teachers and authors.

So I decided to order his most popular book, Awareness (paperback). To say I found value in this book would be quite an understatement. It is a magnificent book, filled with keen insights. Anthony de Mello (who died suddenly in 1987) was a no-nonsense teacher who cut through so many of the illusions we all hold.

His insights are fresh – not a regurgitation of what others have said. Anthony de Mello will challenge you – and at times annoy you – but if you remain open, you will eventually find that he taught you some valuable things about yourself.

Here is one of my favorite passages in the book:

“What is success? It is what one group has decided is a good thing.”

Not the typical answer you’d expect from a priest. He then goes on to explain his comments about success. The book is a collection of short essays that are easy to read and enjoyable. In addition, Father de Mello had a marvelous sense of humor.

Anthony de Mello was a Jesuit priest and psychotherapist who was well known for his spiritual conferences. His teachings are a mix of Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism and psychology, to name a few.

His book, Awareness, is available on the internet from Amazon, where you can read some excerpts to see if it resonates with you. It is quite possible that you can get the book from your local library. I recommend the book to anyone interested in spirituality.

To see Father de Mello in action during a seminar, go to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB4OZGVccm8&feature=related  

At the beginning of the video, an audience member asks Father de Mello to define spirituality. I think you will find his response very insightful.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

I appreciate the emails that I received in response to Part 1 of this message. Thanks for taking the time to offer your comments. If you did not receive Part 1, you can read it at www.YourSpiritualJourney.net  (April 21, 2009).

In this message, I’ll address another aspect of the Susan Boyle phenomenon. It might be quite obvious, so I’m not claiming to reveal any great insight here.

What struck me was the extent to which so many people focus on “What next?”

In other words, there seems to be an obsession about what will happen to Susan next and what she should do in the future. People are asking questions like these (and offering their opinions):

Should Susan change her hairstyle?

Will she win the talent contest?

Is she going to get a recording contract soon? And if so, how much will she be paid?
Will she be able to sell the movie rights to her story, and if so, how much will she make?

As I read and listen to all the chatter about Susan’s future, a thought comes to me: Why isn’t what happened enough for us?

Why can’t we simply enjoy what we experienced when we saw the video of her performance?

We were touched; we were privileged to hear such a beautiful voice; we were excited to see the audience reaction and Susan’s joy. We may have learned some valuable lessons about pre-judging people.

As I see it, nothing more is needed. We were treated to a special moment.

Whether she makes a ton of money or not, who cares?

Whether she changes her hairdo or not, who cares?

Whether she wins the contest or not, who cares?

The human mind never seems to be satisfied with the present moment, with what is. There always has to be another mountain to climb, more money to acquire, more fame to achieve.

From my perspective, Susan Boyle doesn’t have to do anything else. She doesn’t have to achieve anything, earn anything, or change any aspect of her life.

It is natural for her to want to express her talent, to make some changes in her life, and to live comfortably. Whatever she chooses is just fine with me, and I am happy to watch it as it unfolds.

There is a subtle trap that we fall into, and I’m no exception. We rarely stay with the present moment – the place of peace and spiritual insight. We’re always looking for “What’s next?” We miss life as it unfolds in front of us because we’re always looking around the corner for what is next.

I respect your right to continue with extensive planning, strategies for acquisition, and speculation about the future if you think this approach serves you. As for me, I’m learning to give less attention to what comes next. What I need to know or need to do (which may even include planning) is revealed to me in each moment. It has a natural feel, and causes much less stress.

Oh, and one final thing I learned from the Susan Boyle situation:

God has a wonderful sense of humor.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

If you have access to a computer or television, you’ve probably seen the extraordinary singing performance of Susan Boyle, the 48 year-old woman from Scotland. Susan appeared on the TV show Britains Got Talent and to say she surprised the audience would be quite an understatement.

If for some reason you have not seen the video, here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OcQ9A-5noM
There are many observations I could make about Susan Boyle – some very obvious and some, perhaps not so obvious. All of us are touched when we see this video, and I will offer some observations from my perspective. I realize that you might have focused on some very different things. No one viewpoint is the correct viewpoint, or the most important viewpoint.

Certainly, my initial reaction, like most, was to focus on her “frumpy” appearance as she walked onto the stage. Her hair and dress are not what we consider “normal” for singers of her talent level, or for someone appearing before a huge audience. Her manner of speaking did not inspire confidence either. She is very real and charming in her own way, yet you could never have guessed the talent she was about to demonstrate.

From this standpoint, I was faced with the same lesson as just about everyone in the audience – don’t judge a book by its cover. That’s an obvious lesson.

However, a few days after seeing the video, some other thoughts came up.

Now, throughout the world, everyone is gushing about how much they love Susan Boyle and wish her well. Susan has millions of adoring fans. She has millions of adoring fans not because she was willing to be herself, not because she dresses unconventionally, and not because she showed courage in getting up on that stage.

She has millions of adoring fans who “love” her because she has an absolutely phenomenal singing voice. This is a very conditional love indeed.

If you think otherwise, consider this: what would have happened if Susan Boyle had a lousy, squeaky voice? What would have happened if she had a very average voice, or slightly above average voice?

Nobody would have jumped on her bandwagon. Had she been a pitiful singer, she would have been mocked and ridiculed. People would have criticized her hairdo, her dress and her nerve in getting up on that stage. We’d have our laugh if we could watch the video on YouTube and then she would be yesterday’s news.

Had she been average, there would be no story. No videos on YouTube. It still would have been a tremendous story in my eyes, as few people living the life she has led would have the guts to get up on that stage and sing.

The bottom line is we love and accept Susan Boyle because she has so much talent. Everyone wants her to win. Had she been average during that performance, nobody would care what happened to her. Without experiencing her talent, we would have continued to judge Susan Boyle by her “cover.”

And how about the other Susan Boyles out there? Next to you on line today in the market, or on the street, you’re standing next to people who may look different or seem not to care about their appearance. You may be unimpressed with their vocabulary or the way they speak.

Is your mind making its judgments, or are you feeling a warmth for them because Susan Boyle taught you a valuable lesson?

My guess is that you – and I – are judging them. We haven’t learned any profound lesson from Susan Boyle that we are applying in our everyday lives. Perhaps we should keep Susan Boyle in the forefront of her minds for a while not only because she is a great singer – but because she reminds us to see the beauty and worth in EVERY individual, whether or not they demonstrate some extraordinary talent.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

A friend of mine sent me an email with a link to a beautiful, inspiring rendition of the song “Stand By Me.” I am sharing it with you and hope you enjoy it!

– Jeff Keller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM  

When I gave presentations on attitude and motivation, I would often invite the audience members to participate in an exercise. The point of the exercise was to demonstrate that each of us is able to control our thoughts.

I’d ask the audience to think of a pink elephant. Each person would quickly confirm that he or she could think of (and visualize) the pink elephant. Then I’d ask them to think about an ice cream cone. They could do that as well. Then, I’d ask them to think of the pink elephant again. Once again, they could quickly change the thought back to the pink elephant.

Therefore, I was able to “prove” that each of us has the power to control what we think about. Of course, this meant that we could choose to have positive thoughts, which would lead to positive results in our lives.

Did I really prove that we control our thoughts? A more complete investigation reveals that I did not prove it.

Let’s modify the exercise slightly, and I invite all of you to participate right now.

Think about a pink elephant. You should be able to get that image and thought in your mind quite easily. Now, hold that image of the pink elephant for the next two minutes, without thinking about anything but the pink elephant.

Turn your head away from your computer for two minutes and give it a try. Think of nothing except the pink elephant for two minutes.

Were you able to do it…..or did any other thought arise before the two minutes were up? Many people will not be able to hold the thought of the pink elephant for more than a few seconds…before another thought pops up.

If you WERE able to think of only the pink elephant – and nothing else – for the two minutes, attempt to expand the time period to five minutes. If you really have control over your thoughts, you should be able to think of the pink elephant, exclusively, for five minutes.

Virtually all of us will find that we can’t think only of the pink elephant for any extended period of time. The mind will throw up another thought, another image – and very often the thought that “interrupts” has no relation to what we were initially focusing on.

What this means (at least to me) is that, at best, we have limited control over our thoughts. We may direct our attention to something initially, but we can’t keep it there – and we can’t prevent thoughts and images from spontaneously arising. This is happening all the time, whether we notice it or not.

This investigation led me to stop putting so much attention on my MIND. When attention is not given to the mind, the mind starts to quiet down. Don’t worry. The mind will still serve you and perform its useful functions, such as reminding you of the day to take out the garbage, the time of your appointments, etc.

However in most societies, we overuse the mind. We wrestle with trying to control our thoughts. Sometimes we are successful in doing so, yet at other times we are not. And when we are not successful, we get frustrated and negative thoughts arise.

When the mind is quieted, we begin to feel an opening, a vastness that wasn’t sensed before. We feel more at ease – and more connected to everything and everyone. What we call “negative” thoughts still arise, but they lose their power and quickly dissolve when they are not given attention – and are not resisted.

The quiet mind reveals our spiritual essence. Open. Positive. Grateful. Compassionate. Loving. These arise naturally, with no need to force them by trying to hold onto any particular thoughts.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
- Thomas Merton

“The appearance of things change according to the emotions, and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves.”
- Kahlil Gibran

“When you demand nothing of the world, nor of God, when you want nothing, seek nothing, expect nothing, then the supreme state will come to you uninvited and unexpected.”
- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

I found these quotes at www.bestspirituality.com/quotes.htm  – in case you wish to review other quotes and resources presented at their website. I have not reviewed the website in depth and I leave it to you to determine if this resource would be of value to you.

– Jeff Keller

Here are additional comments in response to the message titled “Financial Turmoil and Lessons Learned, published on March 31, 2009.

Reader Comments:

I lost my job a few months ago. What lessons I have learned? A few things:

I’ve learned to slow down and really savor the little things in life. The sunset, the moon, the birds chirping. I walk every day and I really appreciate the warmth of the sun on my face. I’ve learned to really appreciate my family, whom I neglected while working a job that did not appreciate me. I went on a field trip with my son yesterday and it felt so good to enjoy the time with him and not worry about how many e-mails have accumulated in my absence.

Finally, I learned that God is still in control. For me, that means being happy NOW. No matter what is going on in my life, I have Faith that all things will work together for my good.

* * * *

For me, I see this “unfolding” of financial turmoil as the Universe literally “screaming” at us to stop the madness of looking outside of ourselves for happiness and security and a sense of permanence, to stop orienting ourselves outwardly. The incessant need to look to companies, the Government, “experts”, our bank accounts and others to make and “secure” our world is being challenged right now.

I am being forced to look within - what is my internal compass trying to tell me, what is being said by my internal Higher Self? Am I stopping and slowing down and allowing quiet and silence to permeate me so that I can hear what is true for me? I think that this “melt down” is just a calling to stop the incessant focus on anything other than what is going on internally for us, to find wisdom within.

This quote I read today I think perfectly describes this:

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.” –Arthur Golden

* * * *

One of my favorite authors discussed the “Stripping away process” in one of his books. His insights are similar to yours in that we have to eventually give up our relationships, careers, possessions and all other items in this material world or some other person or situation will take it away from us.

For the ego-minded individual this is a scary concept but the spiritual individual has trust in our Lord and is grateful for having the relationship, the job, the possession, etc., for the time they had it and they have a ” Knowing ” they will receive another blessing to take the place of the blessing they lost.

As you said in your article, it’s all about surrendering to the present moment and having faith in our senior Spiritual partner who knows about our present and future more than we will ever know. As Jesus said: “We all hear the wind but we don’t know where it is coming from or where it is going.” Like the wind, if we have the faith and trust, we will fulfill our purpose and get to our destination at the right time.

* * * *

The last six months have taught me not to take life so serious. I try to live each day the best way I can. I also find myself being happy with simple things. My expectations have changed as I enjoy spending time with people I love and care about. I also will never look at life the same, I feel sad for the change and uncertainty, but my faith has grown stronger. I pray for all of us each day.

* * * *

I’m still not fully there yet, but what I have learned from all this mess is to trust. I am a young, yet strong Christian who talks with God each and every day and he listens. Not always providing what I want, but knowing in my heart, providing what I need. My job loss had a big impact on my ability to trust; having found a new job this week, I expect that trust to grow.

I don’t understand most of what He does or why he does it, but I accept it as what’s best for me. I believe I will one day understand. My spending is down, my debt is moving down, and eventually my savings will be moving up. I am not perfect and I make mistakes everyday, but I learn. Psalm 118:8 says “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in people.” I have experienced that full force in January when I discovered I was a disposable employee. However, I am not a disposable child in His eyes, nor in my own or in the eyes of my family. Each day takes work, but I have trust and hope for a better future.

* * * *

I can control only this much…there is much, much more beyond. This is the biggest lesson that I have learnt. I had used all my intelligence and also taken expert advice while investing my savings, thought I was in control, that life in the future would be exactly what I had planned for…at least financially but no…I was so wrong. Today I value “today” much more than I ever did for I am not sure if “tomorrow” exists.

* * * *

During this Financial Turmoil, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is to know no counting, only trusting in the true and living God. I felt the effects of the economic downfall when my paycheck diminished and the price of everything from milk to gasoline rose to an all-time high. I’d read about it in the newspapers and saw it in my neighborhood with the numerous foreclosure signs, businesses folding and more and more of my neighbors out of work. But until it hit me in my pocketbook, I didn’t realize the impact this financial turmoil would have on my city, our nation and the world at large.

My strategy is to keep putting my best foot forward, keep doing the right thing, cutting back on unnecessary spending and keeping myself grounded with the word of God and surrounding myself with positive people. This too shall pass. I don’t just believe it, I know it. All I have to do is make some adjustments and hold on for the ride.

* * * *

About one week before Christmas 2008, my employer decided to cut all staff’s pay by a substantial amount, in lieu of laying off or firing staff. When I learned about this, I was not thrilled with the situation, but I was happy to have my job and I knew my family would be
okay, so it didn’t phase me too hard.

At first things at work did not seem to be that much different, but these past couple of months I have noticed that there are more brown bag lunches in the refrigerator, the prices at the snack bar were raised because the reduction in business, staff are opting out of our monthly “team lunches” with unfamiliar excuses and there wasn’t as much participation in the annual charity fund raisers this year.

Last week one of our employees just mentioned, that the amount of money that was cut from her pay, was the amount of money she spends on groceries to feed her family each month. This all really hit me hard and made me realize how fragile we really are given the right situation.

I have learned that we shouldn’t get too comfortable with the way things are, because they do change and we may find that we must make some adjustments that change our live significantly.

* * * *
I am a baby boomer; therefore, I didn’t live through the depression years ago but I’ve heard my parents and grandparents talk about those hard times over the years and how they lived and survived and depended on each other and those who lived around them. They did without and managed to make ends meet and NEVER had the thought of any government agency bailing them out or “giving” them something.
I think it’s time for America to go through another depression because this country is certainly on its way. Americans need a huge dose of reality. My generation and the generation that follow know NOTHING of real hardship. Doing “without” is unheard of. Instant gratification is the norm. Staying ahead of everyone seems to be the unwritten rule. I’d like to see all Americans pull TOGETHER once again and work toward a common goal to get this country back to what it once was many years ago.
The majority of Americans don’t even know their neighbors by name and that’s sad. Everyone is too busy trying to make a dollar so they can buy more and owe more. It’s gotten completely out of hand and needs to change. Another era of depression would certainly be a step in the right direction and a monumental wakeup call for most. People CAN do without if they have no other option. My grandparents and parents were a generation that PROVED it can be done. It’s called SACRIFICE!
* * * *
I’m trying to live like this: “Life is not about sheltering from the storms; it’s about learning to dance in the rain”

* * * *

One of the things I’ve come to understand over the last couple of years is the joy in change. When I go through transition (also known as discomfort), I’ve learned to view the intensity as a bench mark for the progress to come. The more discomfort I feel whether physical, mental or spiritual the greater the growth to come. I literally tingle with anticipation.

I hesitate to use the word suffering because I know it is a choice but really we still all do suffer. The greater the suffering the greater the reward if we can be awake…if we can become fearless in our anticipation of our world which is continually evolving and unfolding. How wonderful to be here now with all the changes at hand. To get to be a part of this intense adventure and to know just being fully awake and open means we are honestly contributing.

I have struggled with the fear and the pain of these changes just like everyone else. I quit seeing outside myself and became trapped in my mind’s movie. I have had to wrestle free of my pretend musings. I have had to open my eyes and see the world for what it is right this second. Beautiful and glorious and here, perfectly unfolding as it always does, just to bring us home to where we are meant to be but not always able to see.

* * * *

I appreciate that so many of you took the time to submit comments on this topic.

– Jeff Keller

I received many emails in response to the message “Financial Turmoil and Lessons Learned” (March 31, 2009).

What follows is the first installment of some of the comments I received. I can’t include all of them. I am not taking a position in favor of…or against…any of the comments that appear here. I’m trying to give you an accurate picture of the viewpoints expressed.

* * * *

Reader Responses:

I have realised two things as a result of this economic turmoil.

Firstly, now approaching 60 (though not retirement, never that) I have realised just how often in the past I have gritted my teeth and got on with a project I didn’t particularly like (or worse) just for the money I would get at the end of it. That money was squirreled away and was earning good interest/returns for my later years. Now the investments have lost huge amounts and the savings get hardly any return. So there was little point in all that “pain now” for “gain later”. From now on, I will only do what I enjoy working at.

Second, like a lot of people, I have realised that all the things we thought were secure aren’t. I’ve realised that we have a choice when the gales rage and rock our boats. We can cower in the harbour and get buffeted against the quayside and have our boat come apart that way - or we can set a new course, face into the wind and set out to enjoy an exhilarating ride. We may still come to grief eventually - but we’ll go down doing what we enjoy. I read once that when a snow storm comes across the prairies, the bison face into it and survive whereas cattle try to move away from it and can wander for miles and exhaust themselves because they can never outrun it. Don’t know if that’s true - but if it is, I’ve decided I’d rather be a bison.

So I’ve decided that this is the perfect time for a risky career change - because to stay where I’m at is no more secure than to move forward, and it’s the recession that has made this the case. I think in a couple of years I’ll be thankful that it made me move on.

* * * *

It is true that the current economic & financial catastrophe has brought about large numbers of adversities among the people & in their families. But we, as children of God almighty, must bear in mind that we are here because of HIM; and that when we have surrendered our lives in his hands, we ought not to fear for the several uncertainties that life would unfold in unforeseen events, because it is HIS responsibility to protect his children in such turmoil and ONLY his children will be safeguarded. Besides, we must keep in mind that this life on earth is just a preparation session before we start our eternal life with our heavenly father.

* * * *

Man’s greed for material things has made this global financial crisis. Man has become so obsessed with “accumulation” … and it has taken its toll.

The same man will be axed to death by a man hungry for food. If only man can quiet his mind and return to his true nature of “nothingness,” born with nothing and returning to earth with nothing…but beautifully clothed with the wisdom of giving and sharing to all creations whatever he has…this world will be a truly beautiful …with virginal forests, serene and cool blue waters…no man-made pollution…a place where people can smile with gusto…stress-free. The global financial crisis is like the cemetery…a man with endless hunger to accumulate more, a bottomless pit…with no level of satisfaction!

America is a country whose foundation is built on “spirituality” … but then the legislators and Wise (?) men and political pundits started throwing away GOD from the offices and schools and public places… and look what happened, there is moral decadence… and now you are asking why is there crisis? There is no “God” in America… HE was kicked out from its halls…and the world started taking him out of the picture. So, now what?

* * * *

It has taught me that you cannot ignore God in this country and expect everything to be rosy!
Let’s face it, the lack of faith in God and His commandments (e.g., Thou shall not steal!) will lead you to this type of catastrophe!

* * * *

1st Law of the universe is CHANGE…..everything is in process of change EVERYTHING …..from the formation of a diamond to wearing down of mountains all at a different rate… you must adapt or die.

* * * *

Yes, we are all feeling the effects of this shaky economy and times of uncertainty.
Although I have been fortunate enough to keep my job, we are relocating to another location which will double my commute and create a bit of a financial hardship. However, what I have learned is to still be very grateful for what I do have. It has also taught me to not be so free with spending & to live within my means not above them, for these things can be taken away at any moment. We are all so caught up in accumulating a lot of things that we do not need and have to have the biggest and best that anyone has. We should just be grateful for what we have and not always look to have more.

* * * *

This is my observation of the current financial crisis:

The American dream is built on the following fallacies:

Live outside of your means
Bigger is better
Globalization (eg the American way) is good for the world
Higher housing/stock prices create wealth
Leverage to the hilt
Financial creativity for sake of profit and not value added
Compensate executives to the detriment of employees and consumers
Short term objectives overshadow long term ones
Greed is a driving business force
Profit for the sake of profit

These should be re-evaluated in light of what is currently happening.

* * * *

I have changed. I’m looking deeper at myself. I am counting on myself. My support comes from the inside. Reality is, it always does and always will. The current environment has refreshed my awareness, as I personally was heading down the street of complacency and comfort.

I’m back, I’m excited, I’m creating!

* * * *
None of this is hardly original, but to someone who has never, ever seen anything or any kind of financial melt-down like this, these lesson rang true.

I was always told to keep six months of savings on hand, in cash and keep it liquid like a short-term CD. I fought the urges to spend on the things I wanted along the way in order (over time) to build up this cushion. I cringed thinking my money was wasting away when it could have brought better returns in the stock market. Well, I guess I know better now. It has to be there when you need it.

I was always told to keep my debts at a minimum, pay off my credit cards on time and in full, and to only borrow on assets that appreciate (like housing–HA HA HA!). Well, what saved me is I’ve been living in the same house for the past fifteen years. I’ve built up equity and the payments are very manageable. My wife and I never felt the urge to trade up to a bigger, better house, to “stretch” ourselves and buy the biggest house we could (barely) afford. We also drive our cars until they cannot be fixed anymore, or when the repairs far exceed the investment in a newer, pre-owned vehicle. We are very comfortable though our house is far from the nicest house in the neighborhood and our newest car is five years old.

My wife and I also work second jobs, part-time, weekend and often seasonal, to bring in extra money. Our children all have part-time jobs. We garden and buy in bulk. I do all our home repairs. I heat the house with a wood fire. We’ve cultivated other interests and income-producing hobbies that acted like a back-up plan in case our real jobs were eliminated. We’ve also been very generous in our donations to charity.

I find two things ring true. First, our lifestyle has been very sane, almost boring. But in these tough economic times, our lifestyle has not taken any drastic changes or hardships. We’re still very comfortable.

Second, we never wanted to get into something that we could not get out of if something happened to either one of us (like a plant closing or a premature death). So we’ve always sought to live simply.

I hope these lessons don’t sound condescending or self-righteous. We’ve often felt we were missing out on many of the good things in life. We also love our jobs reminding ourselves there are better paying jobs out there….or at least there were.

* * * *

More comments will be published in the next issue. If you would like to submit your own comments regarding lessons learned from the recent financial turmoil, please send them. I only ask that you submit comments in response to my original message (published March 31, 2009). I’m looking for your personal insights and experiences.

Thanks again for participating!

– Jeff Keller