In this message, I’ll discuss some aspects of spirituality and religion – and how they relate to our need for approval. If you missed the first message in this series, published on June 26, 2009, you can read it at www.YourSpiritualJourney.net  .

I think it’s fair to say that the vast majority of people “inherit” their religion. Thus, their religion or spiritual beliefs come from their parents. If your parents are Catholic, you will be raised in the Catholic faith. If your parents are Jewish, you will be raised in the Jewish faith. If your parents are Muslim, you will be raised in the Muslim faith.

You will also be exposed to the traditions and practices of your religion. As a result, you will pray in a certain manner and follow certain rituals and holidays. You will also notice that many others in your extended family (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.) also follow these rituals and holidays.

There is nothing wrong with being raised in a particular faith and following traditions and rituals. It can be a beautiful expression of our spiritual nature and allow us to connect with God in a very personal way. It can also enrich our relationships with family and relatives.

However, for that spiritual connection to have meaning and depth, we need to personally experience it. It isn’t enough to inherit it or find it through the experiences others have had.

The need for approval often hinders us from having that personal experience. We are hesitant to explore – or let others know that we are exploring our spiritual nature, because we are afraid that they won’t approve, or worse yet, that they might reject us when we stray from our traditions or ask too many questions.

We don’t want to disappoint our parents or those who raised us. We don’t want to disappoint our spiritual or religious leaders. We don’t want to disappoint those at our house of worship. We recognize, in each of these instances, that if we voice doubts or ask for clarifications of certain issues or traditions, we risk disapproval. Often, because we want the approval of others, we stay in line and don’t express our true feelings.

When we repress our true thoughts and feelings to gain approval, we lose our connection with spirit. As I see it, spirit demands honesty.

When I allow fear or the wishes of other humans to guide me, I feel farther and farther from God. When I live from genuineness and authenticity – and allow whatever doubts or questions to arise – I find that God willingly listens and guides me. God is not judging me or discouraging me from expressing what is in my heart.

In my experience, God is open…wide open.

Throughout my life, I’ve known many people who considered marrying someone outside their faith but didn’t do so (or hesitated to do so) solely because of the strong disapproval they got from their parents, who insisted that they marry someone of their own faith.

If, God forbid, their parents had died suddenly, these same people would have gone ahead and married the person of the other faith. Does this make any sense? Does God really ask us to make crucial life decisions based on what our parents or other people feel is right?

Ironically, our parents and those in our community continually told us to take responsibility for our lives and our decisions. We were encouraged to follow our heart. Of course, when we question our religious beliefs and practices, well that’s another matter. Now we are told to be a follower and not to trust our heart.

You might argue that there is nothing wrong with respecting our parents’ wishes and that marrying within your faith or following certain religious rituals (even if we don’t believe in them) is an act of love for our parents. After all, they want the best for us.

In the end, there is no “middle man” or advisor that needs to stand between ourselves and God. I have learned to trust my own heart and take whatever concerns I have directly to God. Whatever I receive is the only advice I trust.

Spiritual texts and other people can offer us valuable insights and invitations to a relationship with God. But these resources can take us only so far. We must then follow our own path. Some will approve of what we are doing. Others will not.

Fear and threats do not promote spirituality; they kill spirituality.

When we live our lives based on what others think, we are living from fear. In my experience, this does not lead to a close relationship with God, which can only be based on openness, honesty and love. We must come to God as we are, not as others want us to be.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

Psychologist William James said that “the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” Most people refer to this quotation to emphasize the importance of giving praise to others.

In this message, I’m going to look at this concept from a very different angle, a spiritual angle. In fact, I’ll modify Mr. James’s quote as follows: “one of the deepest obstacles to spiritual growth is the craving to be appreciated and to gain the approval of others.”

Throughout my journey of self-development and spiritual growth, I have done many exercises, read many books and listened to many audio programs that have helped me to get a better understanding of why I think and act as I do. And I made an interesting discovery about six months ago.

An incredibly high percentage of my thoughts and behaviors were influenced by one core principle: the need for approval.

In many instances in my life, I didn’t want to upset others or confront them because they might not like me. I didn’t simply “cave in” and do what others wanted all the time, but I’d often modify my words or actions in the hope that others would still like me.

Even our desire to perform a task at a high level comes down to a need for approval. Many of us worry that we won’t be good enough or that we will fail. Dig deeper to see what is underneath these concerns. We are concerned that if we don’t perform well enough (whatever standard we set for ourselves), others will not approve of us. And we desperately want their approval, whether it is from our boss, co-workers, spouse, parents, friends, children, and even strangers.

We believe, incorrectly, that our well-being is dependent upon the approval of others.

If you look at your own beliefs, your own goals, your own dreams and even your feelings — I think you will find that they are heavily influenced by a need for approval, a need to be liked. There may be a few exceptions, but not many.

Sometimes the need for approval or recognition is not easy to spot as the motive behind certain behaviors. For example, take the person who is very selfish and driven to succeed. We might say they don’t care what others think of them.

Yet, why are they driven to attain high positions or accumulate material wealth? In part, it is because others will look up to them and be impressed with their accomplishments. They will gain approval and admiration from a segment of the population.

This need for approval causes you to be someone you are NOT. You remain “on guard”, often worried that what you say or do will offend someone. If you were to be fully yourself, acting without regard to the response from others, you would take a certain course of action. However, when it becomes important to you to be liked, you modify your behavior.

Spirit invites you to be yourself, not the “actor” that is seeking the approval of others. Let’s face it. We all wear masks to some degree.

The way of the spirit is to be genuine. A very difficult road to travel, for sure. It requires courage and a willingness to let others disapprove. We must take the risk of not being liked – and choose authenticity as a higher value.

I want to go slowly on this topic, to give everyone a chance to see how pervasive this need for approval operates in all of our lives. Some of you may take my invitation to look inside and see how your actions and thoughts are related to the need for approval.

Others will not want to go there, and that’s fine.

For those who ARE willing, take some time to identify what makes you uneasy or afraid — and how you respond (or fail to respond) to these thoughts and feelings. Look at what you consider to be your weaknesses. Also, consider your goals and dreams. Can you see how the need for approval is operating in many of these situations?

You may identify some things that you believe are not rooted in the need for approval. Keep peeling away the layers of this onion. Don’t accept the first answer that comes into your mind. Challenge the response by asking “Why do I want this?” or “why is this important to me”? – and you’ll go further….until you see that the road leads to a need for approval.

I don’t claim to be the psychological authority on this issue. I’m only sharing what I discovered in myself and what I see in countless others who cross my path.

Once you are willing to see this need for approval in yourself, you can make progress in going beyond it. Awareness is an important first step.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

I received many comments in response to the last message, “No Need for an Apology,” published on June 19, 2009 – and have included some of them below.

Reader Comments:

“The key word as you mentioned is peace. We have been conditioned to believe there is an order in which forgiveness is attained. There is a wrongdoing (sin), an acknowledgement of “sin” and pleading for forgiveness (confession), and finally we are “pardoned” or forgiven and can achieve “peace”. If we have been wronged, we often find it difficult to forgive until someone has apologized and asked for forgiveness. I believe the fundamental problem with this concept is that we rely on someone else to attain peace.

Additionally, we spend our time dishing out servings of guilt in hopes that the jerk who did us wrong will be shamed into apologizing. Perhaps the person we think is a jerk actually really is sorry for whatever he did, yet we believe he needs to suffer for his mistake. This brings up the point that even if they do apologize, we can judge that they are not sorry enough and need to go further than an apology. The fact is that if they apologize because they feel it may help the person they hurt to feel better, then there is often nothing more that can be done.

In the same sense, if they apologize because they are shamed, afraid, or otherwise not genuine, there is still nothing more that can be done. So, it seems the best we can do is acknowledge that whatever happened is the past, it should be forgiven, we should learn from it, and we should continue to love if we expect to achieve peace.”

* * * *

“I used to be a teacher and intervene if kids were fighting, and then ask the one who started it to apologise. I never felt at ease with this because if you can even work out who started it, there is no way that kid means his apology, if he can even be cajoled or rebuked into giving it. I think it also makes it seem like it’s ok to do something wrong as long as you apologise after, whether you mean it or not.

We had a recent incident here with Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand, similar to the one you mentioned, and it was demanded they make a public apology for what they’d said, which they duly did. I doubt the apologies were sincere, probably more of a job keeping exercise, which makes a mockery of being sorry. I think you are right that we don’t ‘need’ apologies at the end of the day, although a genuine one is sometimes nice to hear.”

* * * *

“This article reminded me of something I once heard and incorporated into my child rearing strategies. It goes like this: If you really meant to say or do something do not apologize for it. The apology would be empty and meaningless. ie If my child said “I hate you” when angry at me for something I said or did. I did not want or expect an apology. Because at the time of the outbursts they probably really did hate me. This was not a forever hate — I knew that and respected their honesty.”

* * * *

“I have been talking with people for years about forgiveness and letting go… ‘forgiveness is a gift you give yourself’. I strongly agree that as long as you are waiting for something (like an apology) from someone else, you are giving them your power. “The best revenge is to live well”, and if you can’t live well because you’re busy waiting for an apology, then your life is negatively affected, and that’s really sad. When do people apologize to themselves for the pain and suffering they have endured as a result of something they suffered through in the past and never let go of? “

* * * *

“Your rambling opinion on “No Need for an Apology” completely missed the point on the public’s reaction to Letterman’s crude comments and so-called apology. The point is….Letterman and most other mainstream media have gone too far with their hateful, mean spirited remarks. Finally people are starting to step up and say enough is enough. What happened to integrity, character and respect for others? For you to pass this off as a little “apology” issue is no better than Letterman.”

* * * *

From my point of view, I never request an apology. It is pointless. It is meaningless.

My solution:

1) If a verbal sting or outburst comes my way, I keep silent and try to get peaceful.

2) The best solution, in my humble view, is to say a few times over and over again what Jesus said on the Cross:

“God Forgive Them because they know not what they say or do.”

Benefits to Me:

* This simple mantra, I feel, is far more effective than any apology this person or any other person might offer.

* It invokes the help of God.

* It squarely acknowledges that the offending person is forgiven by me, and implies they will have to fixed by God – since obviously I can’t “fix” anyone.

* It helps me to “Let go and let God.”

As to the rest of society, I think they will continue with what they are doing - requesting apologies. It is a temporary fix that makes them feel good. For me, I prefer my solution.

* * * *

“Thanks for this concept. My step daughter had a big issue with my daughter the other day and we talked about how my daughter wanted an apology and how the step daughter’s family never apologizes for anything. I had lost sight of the knowledge that the apology doesn’t really matter. It’s the thoughts we choose to harbor and the feelings we choose to have. I plan to share this with my daughter.”

* * * *

“Apologies are something that the individual feels that s/he needs to do without being asked. Outside of that there is no sincerity.”

* * * *

“Jesus said for us to forgive others who have forgiven us. I know there are discussions of whether we forgive only if they ask, I think Jesus is clear, we forgive regardless of an apology. So that’s what our job is, forgiveness. However, when we know we have offended others, I feel we should ask for forgiveness and whether they accept or not, we’ve done what Christ has asked us to do.”

* * * *

“I’m a big believer in encouraging people to take responsibility for their own thoughts and to come to an understanding that it is solely their choice how they perceive every situation and to know that each choice comes with a consequence that will either strengthen them or weaken them. When teaching workshops on forgiveness in the past, I feel honored to witness people “get it”.”

* * * *

“As I work on my Spiritual growth everyday, I realize that I define myself. If any family member, friend or any other acquaintance says something to insult/hurt me in anyway, that’s okay. I don’t need anyone’s apology to heal or make myself whole. I define who I am. It’s none of my business what anyone says or thinks about me.

Why should I waste my precious time getting someone’s approval? Our Lord made all of us a unique individual to fulfill his purposes. We all have a role to play to make all of us much better than we are now. As you said, if we get an apology, good but if not, that’s good too. We can never control anyone’s thoughts, words and actions towards us. We are the authors of our peace and happiness. When someone complains to me of what he or she said to them, my response is always: Okay but…what do YOU say about yourself?”

* * * *

I couldn’t agree more with you. For years my husband has considered me “flawed” since I seldom (willingly) offer an apology. But, you are absolutely correct when you state that either a person feels sincerely ashamed at some particular behavior or comment and willingly apologize, or if they do NOT feel ashamed but apologize anyway, it is simply meaningless.

The Palin/Letterman incident is yet another example of the “Politically Correct Police” getting into the act and then the fanatics latching on to make matters worse. It was “good” only in that it pointed out what a waste of time it is for any of us to watch these “celebrities” or to CARE the tiniest bit about what they say.

Unfortunately, people in other countries are also exposed to these people and their comments and extrapolate from them that ALL Americans must be this idiotic. More and more I feel ashamed that I even share the same space with some of these people that I see “celebrated” in the media. To give any of them air-time, and to pay them Big Bucks besides, tends to irritate me…until I remind myself to refocus my attention.”

* * * *

“I used to hold grudges when I knew I was right and as I have gotten older and perhaps wiser, it has occurred to me that this is wasted energy and it does not make me feel any better, hating the person. There is nothing I can do to change the person, so there is no point in harboring hateful and negative feelings. Now I just feel sorry for those who can be so nasty and heartless, I pray for them and then I forgive them.”

* * * *

Thank you for submitting your comments on this topic.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

The recent feud between David Letterman and Governor Sarah Palin got me thinking about apologies. I can only speak from my experiences in the United States, and I don’t know how other nations or cultures feel about apologies.

Without going into too many specifics, here is what happened. Talk show host David Letterman made some very crude sexual jokes on his nightly television show about Gov. Palin and her teenage daughter. Many people demanded that Letterman issue an apology to Gov. Palin and her family. Several days later, Letterman issued an apology on television. Now, people are debating whether the apology went far enough, and whether Letterman was sincere in issuing the apology.

I don’t want to get bogged down here in debating Letterman’s actions. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and this is a very trivial matter in the scheme of world events. Personally, I think the jokes were insensitive and inappropriate, but I don’t think they called for any drastic sanctions like firing Letterman. Enough said on that.

What I’d like to focus on here is how you, individually — and we, as a society, view apologies. These days, when a public figure makes a statement we think is inappropriate, some people demand that the person making the statement issue an apology. Often, there is a demand that the person be fired from his or her job as well, but let’s not go there now.

Why is it so important to us that another person apologize? Why do we seem to NEED an apology in certain circumstances?

I no longer see the sense in demanding an apology from anyone. And to say that anyone needs an apology is simply untrue. Nobody needs an apology.

Sure, it would be nice if someone who inflicted physical or emotional pain on us issued an apology. We tend to feel better when we get an apology. It can be very healing to the person who offers the apology – and to the one who receives it.

However, when we claim to need an apology, we’re just setting ourselves up to suffer.

Our criminal justice system embraces this focus on apology and remorse. We expect, and in fact, we often demand, that the perpetrator of a crime show remorse and apologize for his act. We vow to punish the perpetrator more if he refuses to apologize or if his apology is not sincere enough.

In the Letterman-Palin controversy, many people are now debating whether Letterman’s public apology was sufficient. Did he do it to save his job? Did he do it to appease the advertising companies who threatened to withdraw sponsorship of his program? Did he do it because he really was sorry for his comments?

How can we ever know for certain what is in the heart of the person who apologizes? Perhaps the perpetrator of the crime is simply a good actor as he cries and begs for mercy at his sentencing so he will obtain a shorter sentence. Maybe he is really sincere.

For me, apologies are either heartfelt and willingly given, or they are meaningless. Society declares that we are supposed to apologize in certain situations, so we do it to please other people or get a benefit. This kind of apology is a very conditional apology. It is given in exchange for something.

This issue about apologizing also comes up in the context of family relationships and friendships. We all know people (or have ourselves been one of those people) who got angry with a family member or friend because of something they did or said that was hurtful. We sever the relationship or treat the other person coldly until he or she apologizes.

So often, we hear phrases like, “She owes me an apology.”

As we mature, perhaps we can see that we don’t need anyone to apologize. We are putting ourselves at the whim of others and demanding they feel the way we want them to feel – and that they act the way we want them to act. Talk about a recipe for misery.

In many cases, we want apologies from people who are no longer around to give them. We may have a deceased relative who abused us or harmed us and we feel we can’t be whole without this apology. We may yearn for an apology from a deceased parent who didn’t show us enough love.

We don’t need the apology as we are already whole. There is nothing an apology could “add” to us. The issue is never the other person. It’s a thought we hold in our own minds and we hold the key to releasing the thought and its related emotions.

I am beginning to see that I don’t need anyone to do anything for me to be at peace. And that includes apologies. If another person wants to apologize, that’s fine. If he or she doesn’t want to apologize, that’s fine too.

Regarding actions I have taken that may have harmed others, I will apologize when that is what my heart wishes to express. No doubt I may feel societal pressure in certain situations to apologize – and perhaps I might give in and do it. Yet I would KNOW that what I am doing is insincere.

It’s funny that despite many religions which emphasize forgiveness for those who have wronged us, we tend to focus on receiving an apology rather than on offering forgiveness to the person who we feel harmed us.

I welcome your comments and insights on this topic – and feel free to disagree with anything presented here.

But if you ask me for an apology, you probably won’t get one.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

On one level, labels can be extremely helpful to us. We read the labels on packaged food to learn about the ingredients, the number of calories and other nutritional information. We examine the labels on clothing items to know what the garment is made of, and how to wash it properly.

We could come up with endless examples of how labels provide helpful information in many contexts.

However, not all labels provide helpful information. In fact, some labels actually “mask” or cover reality, and can lead us away from the truth. Let me illustrate this point by sharing a story I heard recently. A spiritual teacher in India was being interviewed. I don’t recall the teacher’s name right now.

During the interview, the spiritual teacher held a flower in his hand and he asked the interviewer, “What is this?”

The interviewer naturally replied, “It’s a flower.”

The teacher said, “No, flower is a name or label we have given it, but the word “flower” doesn’t explain what it is.”

The teacher again held up the flower and said, “What is this”?

The interviewer remained silent for a while and then admitted that the item the teacher was holding could not really be described.

The teacher had made his point. The essence of what we call a flower is nothing we could describe. It is a miracle of unknown origin. Even if you say that God created the flower, you still don’t know what the essence of the flower is.

Anything you would use to describe it is just another label – and the label is not the item itself.

The word “table” is not a table. You can’t sit on the word “table.” You can’t drink the word “water.” Each of these things is something other than its label.

The same is true for each of us. A person might say, “I am John” or “I am Mary” – yet these are names – and not the essence of the person. If John changes his name to Bill, the name has changed, but the essence of the person is the same.

You are not your name, just as the flower is not the WORD flower.

Science won’t be of much help to you here, either. Science has shown us that ALL matter, including you and the flower, are some type of energy waves vibrating in empty space. Now, does that clarify what you and the flower really are?

Hardly.

While you might see this initially as a silly word game, I invite you to look a little more closely. I invite you to see the miracle inherent in EVERY object, thought, sensation and feeling that arises in this world.

Of course, we have to use names or labels such as words to describe phenomena in this world. It is the only way we could communicate with each other.

Yet we can still recognize the limitations of these names and labels. We can recognize that each item in this world, whether it be a “tangible” object (such as an animal or table) – or an intangible (such as thought or feeling) – is comprised of some spiritual essence we can’t possibly comprehend, and which no label can capture.

Everything you see is this miraculous spiritual essence. Everything you feel is this miraculous spiritual essence. And the dog poop on the street is no less a miracle than the Grand Canyon.

When you accept the labels without looking beyond them, you become trapped in a world of comparisons and judgments — and you don’t see the miracle.

When you are concentrating on the label or name, your perspective is limited. There is a table in front of you and instead of wondering what this thing is, or where it comes from (and I don’t mean its nation or city of origin), you see a scratch you don’t like in the table. Or you like the color and texture of the table, compared to others you have seen.

We focus on a label like someone’s nationality. This person is Chinese. That person is Canadian. We then get bogged down in comparisons of which nationality we are, which we like better, etc.

In the examples I described above, the mind becomes active and the miracle is hidden.
We are merely playing with labels at a very superficial level.

What, in essence, is the Chinese person or the Canadian person? Each is a miracle, some spiritual essence beyond the capacity for any human to explain.

Whenever you don’t need to communicate something to someone else, relax the names and labels. You don’t need them to experience the world around you. Just take it all in. Give the thinking mind a vacation.

Go beyond the name. When you look at the tree, ask yourself, “what is it”? When you see your child, ask yourself “what is this”? As you eat an apple, ask yourself, “what is this”?

In so doing, you will see the limitations of labels, and you’ll begin to see the miracles everywhere.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

In the last issue, I invited all subscribers to share the insights they had gained from reading this newsletter. I am grateful for the many comments that were submitted, and I have included some of them in this issue.

I was very touched by the enthusiastic support you expressed for me and my articles. That was not my intent in asking for your insights, yet I want you to know that I deeply appreciate your kindness.

I learn from all of you, respect all of you and thank you for being part of this diverse community. I really don’t know how long I will continue to publish this newsletter, but it has been a joy and a blessing to me every step of the way.

With much love,

Jeff Keller

* * * *

Reader Comments;

“I am a very recent subscriber, and have replied to your mailings on two or three occasions. I thank God that the person who introduced me to you did just that.

It gives me time to reflect on my spirituality, and question my views of others, both with and without Faith.”

* * * *

“Personally, this news letter has been an enriching experience. Agreeing and also disagreeing to your views sometimes. Being a Hindu, marrying a Christian - have got exposure to wide variety of religious beliefs.

While I retained my religious identity as Hindu, have always been open to any religious thought or practices. I find the true meaning of being ” Spiritual” reading the newsletter. The conflict of religious beliefs and practices has always left me questioning the true connection with God

You have thrown some light on how this connection with god is beyond boundaries, religion and human mind.”

* * * *

“Your newsletter has helped me think about and solidify what I do believe. For so many years of my life I was wandering aimlessly buying into the lies of the physical world and ignoring the spiritual world. And I was miserable.

I believe this is exactly where the deceiver, the father of all lies, the prince of this world, Satan wants us to be. There is truth in the saying, “if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”

You’ve also helped me be more understanding in accepting others who don’t believe as I do. As I look back at how I’ve changed, I know a person’s view of spirituality evolves. Furthermore, spirituality is a very personal relationship with God. Not everyone receives the same information from God at the same time and not everyone responds to information in the same way.

God is using you and your newsletter in a powerful way.”

* * * *

“Jeff, I have learned and appreciated the difference in views, concepts and perspective about religion and spirituality that you and others have brought to the table through your Newsletter. It not only verifies my own convictions, but it opens a door for understanding and communication on all levels. We all have second guessed our beliefs at one time or another and this dialogue offers an opportunity to explore others’ views on topics of concern. I’m all for learning and striving to be a better Christian. This avenue helps me to be objective and to dig deeper in my soul for wisdom and understanding of God’s word. Thank you for opening that door for me.”

* * * *

“Jeff, I have subscribed for a long time and I share your articles in my monthly staff meetings. I work in a faith based hospital in a treatment center for chemical dependency. Your articles have been invaluable to me and my staff. You write about so many things that as clinicians we need to be aware of. I also use them to help with counselor burn out.”

* * * *

“I have really enjoyed reading all your newsletters. Many of them make me really stop and think about the things you write about. Indeed things that I tend to push back in my mind. You help bring them back to the present.”

* * * *

“I know that the answers to all of my questions are only on the other side of heaven. But the true value of the newsletter comes in realizing first, that we are not alone in asking questions or in not understanding His (God, the Ultimate Power, Allah, whatever you want to call Him) ways and secondly the value comes from challenging ourselves and others to be the best that we can be and to grow.”

* * * *

“What I have taken away is not so much more knowledge about my own faith, but a better understanding of how to talk about it with others without faith, or of different beliefs. I have learned that via the questions you have received from others, as well as commentary.”

* * * *

“It’s always refreshing and uplifting to read your articles and comments from others. It makes me think and go deep into the recesses of my mind. I began to see some of the old events in my life in a new perspective. I have learned to become non-judgmental. I have more peace of mind now.”

* * * *

“You have had been an influence on my personal and spiritual development for a number of years.

The transition from your prior newsletter “Attitude Is Everything” to this newsletter has greatly leveraged the influence you have had on my development as a whole person, and of my consciousness of how we all are linked to a universe exponentially greater than our individual selves.

You have helped me be more aware of the thoughts within my own self, my spiritual connections to others and the universe I am a part of.

My appreciation of the thoughts you share in your newsletter has been impacted by your eclecticism, your guidance, and your mentoring. It has helped me in gradually becoming a more thoughtful, empathetic, connected and open-minded person.”

* * * *

“Your Spiritual Journey has helped me open my mind and become less judgmental. One particular newsletter that was and is extremely beneficial is the one titled “Wanting Others to be Spiritual.” And within that, the statement that “Spirituality is a one-person sport” opened much dialogue with friends that would not have opened up to me before for fear of me judging them. It also was freeing for them as well as me.

Thanks for your heart, wisdom, and Your Spiritual Journey newsletter.”

* * * *

“Where do I start? First, your newsletter has increased my capacity to work with and tolerate others. I enjoy reading the different perspectives and views and discussing the publications with others in my circle who receive them as well. It has assisted my spiritual growth and each week it offers me inspiration and food for thought.”

* * * *

“I wish I could give you more specific feedback, but I have to say that all of your newsletters have given me SOMETHING. You have either asked questions that I doubt I would have gotten anywhere else or you gave interesting perspectives that made me think… which is always a good thing… it makes us grow to think about things in a new or different way. Some of the comments from your readers have been surprising at times, but I appreciate the way you allow people to have their own opinion without being judgmental. There seems to be way too much criticism and judging in this world and your newsletter has been an inspiration.”

* * * *

“I have enjoyed both the “Attitude is Everything” series as well as “Your Spiritual Journey”.

As for the latter, it has really allowed me the opportunity to stop, think and reflect in many diverse areas that I would not have ever even thought of. I have shared your newsletter with many and we now have discussion groups from time to time over your articles. I love your non- bias attitude and delivery of the topics. I look forward to the newsletter with anticipation wondering what you will discuss and where it will lead me.”

* * * *

“I have been reading “Your Spiritual Journey” ever since you started publishing .While I have been pursuing the spiritual path for the past few years reading the Vedantha philosophy in Hinduism in addition to the teachings of great masters and gurus in other religions, your writings have enriched my knowledge and understanding of many aspects. Like many seekers of the ultimate truth, I was also trying to gather knowledge from as many sources as possible and your Newsletter has helped me in understanding some of the finer aspects in spirituality.

As Telihard de Chardin said ” We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience”, we are all interconnected since the source of spirit is the same. We can call it soul, spirit, god, consciousness or chaitanya or Brahmn in Sanskrit.

You have very clearly analysed many complex things in simpler ways which make the reading more easy and interesting. It is said that thoughts make our destiny and spirituality helps us to think in the right direction. After all spirituality is a way of life.

I eagerly look forward to your writings which I am sure will help many to broaden their understanding of spirituality.”

* * * *

“This newsletter has given me an insight into other thoughts on religion and beliefs. None of them have changed my Christian stance or complete belief in my Savior’s relationship with me, but it has broadened my view. As I have mentioned before, I’m a new Christian and learning everyday about God & Jesus is very important to me. This newsletter provides some of that insight and a different take on my views. My church family and the bible is where most of my growth comes from, but I appreciate this source as well.”

* * * *

“I have been a fan, even before November of 2007. My life began changing with your book Attitude is Everything and I enjoyed If you Could Ask God. I subscribed to your attitude newsletter and was excited when your focused changed to a more spiritual journey.

Each week I find myself digging deeper in my relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and your newsletter is one of the many tools I utilize to keep my appointment with my maker. The feedback you receive and share with your readers is just another way for me to learn and grow.

Thank you for continuing to provide each of us the opportunity to know more about God and others.”

* * * *

“It’s good to see that, as usual, you are prepared to experience other’s views. Whilst I don’t subscribe to any particular dogma I can say it’s heartening the number of individuals who have strong beliefs in the spirituality of man.

I guess the main lesson I have taken from your writings is that being willing to allow others to think differently, without being judgmental or defensive has allowed me to more fully experience life and others. In other words, being willing to experience diversity can only enhance our life’s richness. In a single word - Tolerance.”

* * * *

“what have I learnt -

that there is more than one way of looking at things,

that I know very little, all this is such a big subject

no matter how much you think you know there is always more to it

Judge not - my biggest lesson

thank you I love your take on things and the way you make me step back and think again.”

* * * *

© 2009

I began publishing “Your Spiritual Journey” Newsletter in early November 2007. Thus, some of you have been reading the newsletter for more than 18 months. Of course, I realize that some of you subscribed only recently.

This seems like a good time for all of us to check in and see how the newsletter has affected us. Therefore, I’d like to pose this question to all of you:

What, if anything, have you learned about yourself and others by reading this newsletter?

Has it affected your views about God, religion or spirituality? Has it changed the way you view others? Have you learned anything from the comments submitted by other subscribers?

Please understand that I welcome all views and I’m not looking for any particular responses. I really don’t know what comments you will offer. While I doubt I will be able to publish all of the responses received, I will include a representative cross-section of the emails submitted.

I’m going to give you a full week to submit your comments. The next issue of the newsletter will be published on Friday, June 12 and I will include some of your responses in that issue.

I am looking forward to hearing from you – and to learning from the insights you’ve gained from this newsletter.

– Jeff Keller

One of our subscribers was kind enough to send me this wonderful column by Regina Brett, who is a writer with The Plain Dealer, a newspaper in Cleveland. I think it contains some keen insights and excellent advice.

http://blog.cleveland.com/pdextra/2007/09/regina_bretts_45_life_lessons.html