How do we find the deep spiritual connection that we yearn for? How can we begin to understand what God is, or how we relate to God? What is the relationship between our human existence and our spiritual essence?

These are tough questions – at least they are tough for me to figure out. In the last few years, one thing has become very clear to me:

The answers to these questions are not to be found in the mind.

Some of you will resonate with that statement. I also know that many of you will disagree or find this discussion to be of no practical value. You may think, “If I don’t use my mind, what would I use?” That is NOT a silly question.

We’ve all been taught to figure out things with our thinking mind. Want to learn a subject in school? Use your mind. You want to plan for your career or business? Use your mind. You want to write an article? Use your mind. Want to plan for dinner tonight? Use your mind.

The mind is an amazing instrument, and it helps us do many things.

Yet my discovery is that the mind is woefully inadequate to explain God and the nature of our existence. The mind can’t even come close to figuring out who we are, or who God is. These answers are beyond the thinking mind.

As I see it, mind has been created by THAT which the mind is now seeking. The mind seeks to understand a power greater than mind. Ultimately, the mind will fail in its mission – although it will offer a lot of adventures and seeming insights along the way.

Many people interested in spirituality will argue that spiritual texts, belief systems and discernment – all mind tools – will help us to understand God and develop a relationship with God. For some, that is all they need to be perfectly content with their spiritual growth.

Not me. I’ve found that my mind has offered very feeble explanations for the vast mystery of God and spirit. Spiritual texts and spiritual leaders can be helpful, but they can’t explain what appears to be beyond human comprehension.

Let’s look at the mind for a moment to see some of its limitations. Can the mind really understand something that has no beginning and no end? Can the mind understand that which is not tangible? How would the mind describe God or spirit?

These questions are beyond the ability of the mind. Why would I trust my mind to be the guide on this spiritual journey?

Furthermore, many scientists claim that time and space do not exist – that they can’t be proven, other than as a construct of the mind. How would the mind go about determining if time and space exist? The mind can’t fathom such a possibility.

If you think this sounds too much like a science fiction movie, let’s consider something more basic. What is MIND? Can your mind tell you precisely what is this thing we refer to as “mind?” Can someone show you a mind? The thoughts that are coming from the mind – what are they are where are they located?

I haven’t got a clue. Do you?

The mind will have you believe that this is a very logical, and for the most part, understandable world. It likes to keep you focused on superficial judgments and opinions – and on material objects. On its own, the mind will not raise difficult spiritual questions, since to raise them, is to put a dent in the mind’s credibility. The mind is a trickster that diverts your attention from its limitations.

The mind can be used to show the limitations of the mind, as we are now exploring. This is one of the most valuable things the mind can do for us.

In the last few years, the most important spiritual growth I have experienced is when the mind is quiet. This doesn’t require complete silence or a lack of activity. In most societies, the mind has been trained to be overly active – to crave stimulation and thrive on judgment and analysis. The mind CAN be tamed and learn a different way, where beliefs and judgments decrease and a sense of peace and unity increase.

I’m not saying we will get definitive answers on our spiritual questions if we quiet the mental activity – but we will gain some insights into the nature of our being and how to interact with others. At least that is what I am finding.

I want to open a discussion on this topic. Think about how the mind has served you in your spiritual growth – and how it has limited you. As the years have passed, do you have a different idea of the importance of using your mind to connect with your spirituality?

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

P.S. I realize that some may differ on the definition of “Mind.” Mind can refer to thinking, intellect, and reasoning; some definitions of mind also include emotions or feelings. I didn’t think we needed a rigid definition of something that can’t be figured out anyway!

I received many insightful comments in response to my last message, Let’s Be Honest About Our Judgments, published on August 11, 2009.

Many of you wrote about the valuable aspects that some judgments play in our lives. This is right on target, and an important clarification. I didn’t mention that aspect of judgments in my initial message. I’m glad to see you are reading these messages carefully!

I also enjoyed reading many of the experiences you shared regarding how this issue has been working in your lives right now. In addition, I found one subscriber’s comments particularly helpful — regarding the Biblical phrase “Judge not” and how this phrase is taken out of context and misunderstood.

Equally important, so many of you were ruthlessly honest about your judgments. I respect and admire your honesty.

Here are excerpts from some of the comments that were submitted.

* * * *

Reader Comments:

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, just not their own set of facts.
As you have said, judgment comes from our programming (or is it innate?), and
programming results in preconceived notions (opinions), from which we judge.
As you’ve heard, “Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes
from bad judgment.” The Bottom line: judgment is here to stay, and there’s not
much we can do about it. That’s my judgment, and I’m sticking to it!”

* * * *

“The commonly held popular view against judging is, I think, woefully spiritually shallow. Incorrectly based on Matthew 7:1-2, the context of that chapter shows that Jesus is against hypocritical judging, not judging in general. In fact, in John 7:24 Jesus says, “Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.” There are a number of passages about having discernment, and Paul commends the Philippians for having just that in 1:10. How could one be wise without it?

The popular view merely throws the baby out with the bathwater, something very easy to do for the spiritually immature.”

* * * *

“In regard to your thoughts on judgment.

All your examples were negative.

What about the judgments:

What a cute baby.
He is a really nice person.
This car runs great.
My car mechanic really knows what he is doing.
This is the best food I’ve ever eaten.
They are the best parents I’ve ever seen.

Judgments are not by definition a bad thing and can be a warning that could be a life saver.

That person is a child molester. You might not want to let that person baby sit your child.
That person has bad manners. You might not want to invite him to the Ritz for dinner.
That person is a bad parent. You might not want to have them adopt a baby.”

* * * *

“I wanted to share regarding the topic of judgments.

I worked for one day as a receptionist at what I thought would be a fun place to work — based on the image this business portrayed. However, on my first day there, I saw the owner conduct herself in a manner that I felt very uncomfortable with. I was challenged because it was a place I really wanted to work at. What do I do? I was rationalizing - such as, “she’s under a lot of stress.” Did I judge? Yes. However, I knew in my gut feeling the behavior I witnessed was not right.

The very next day I returned and told her I could not return to the job. I only gave her one example of the behavior I saw that did not feel good. It was enough. She understood. So, yes I judged. But it was out of a need to protect myself and stay true to my integrity. However, I do care about a person. So, in this example, I helped her to find someone to fill the position I quickly left.”

* * * *

“Your instant judgment about an ominous situation can save your life. In this respect, this kind of judgment does not ask the question if it is honest and/or right or wrong. Another example of an instant judgment is whether you are a democrat or republican, white or black, young or old, male or female, etc. This is where the, right or wrong, and being honest about your judgment, takes on a personal basis/bias for the outcome of your judgment.

I have to wonder if judgment is either black or white with no room for any grey area? Unfortunately, I have this either/or, black or white, attitude about many things in life. However, I do not think I am alone in this respect. It is this attitude that I need to work on.”

* * * *

“This is a topic of profound interest to me. One other thought with regard to processing our own judgments is to acknowledge the judgment, then present yourself with an alternate view (either aloud or in our own mind - depending on whether judgment was spoken or thought). For example: When someone cuts you off in traffic you might have the thought, “What a jerk”. You then lead yourself to the thought, “She must have somewhere really important to be.”

I think we often forget that thoughts and feelings are not reality. Sometimes a reality check (or alternate possible reality check) helps us move through the tension of judgment.”

* * * *

“I was walking through our local town just this afternoon and found myself thinking “why is it all these obese people are stuffing their faces with junk food” then I realise I am judging and try to say “Bless them they are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing at this moment.”

Interestingly there is a topic in the National media over here regarding two youngish parents who were unbelievably cruel to their two year old son and in the end he died unnecessarily as the social workers were aware of the situation. Weird though it sounds I found it easy to bless all concerned and send forgiveness to them all (mentally) while listening to my best friend who is ever so upset about it all. I found it interesting that I can be detached about that and yet judge something as trivial as people eating on the street!

Yes it is very easy to type the words out but putting it all in practice is a different thing all together!”

* * * *

“Judge not, lest ye be judged.” As you clearly stated in your article, it is only human to judge others. That judgment sometimes brings out the most evil of humanity, such as prejudice, yet if we oppress our judgmental feelings disaster can await us. For example, an overprotective father might see their daughter dating someone who “appears” to be of questionable character. What does that father do? Let the daughter get into the car with this individual or does he say “no way!” If he lets her go, is he a bad parent? If he says “no way”, is he being overprotective because he does not like what he “sees”? I see this form of behavior every day.

I work with individuals with a variety of disabilities. Every day, people look at them and judge them for what they “see.” I am judged every day by people do not know me. I’ve been in a wheelchair for 25 years. I can’t move my arms or my legs. I use chin control to drive my wheelchair, something that appears unusual to most people. Many times I get the question “what happened?” But the question is stated in a quiet and sympathetic tone. After telling them that I was in a bicycle accident at the age of 15, I usually get the response “Aw, I’m sorry to hear that.” But when I eventually get around to telling them that “I’m married, I’m an attorney” I get a sudden “WOW.” Now, this does not bother me. Is that person wrong? I think it is normal.
There will never be a right answer but when that “judgmental attitude” turns to prejudice, you’re no longer judging — you have already pre-judged and that is wrong. It is good to know when you’re being judgmental but always ask yourself why, because it is definite that for some reason or maybe no reason at all, you too will be judged.”

* * * *

“I judge, I have quit feeling guilty about it. I don’t do it to be mean, it’s my thoughts.”

* * * *

Thanks to all those who offered their insights. I enjoyed reading your comments and I learned a lot from them.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

Just about everyone can identify with this experience. You learn about someone who has done something you find unethical or immoral and you say: “I’m not judging this person, but….” – and you then proceed to judge the person.

I used to do this all the time. It doesn’t happen much any more.

Don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I have not given up judgment. What I am giving up is the need to say that I am not judging. I AM judging, so why not just be truthful about it?

On the spiritual path, judgment is seen as a “no-no.” It’s not spiritual to judge. Religions tell us not to judge.

Consequently, we give the mind a goal – to eradicate our tendency to judge. We will focus on “not judging” until we can acquire this habit.

How successful have YOU been in giving up judgment?

If you’re honest, you’ll admit that you are judging people all the time. The judgment is there before your mind can prevent it. We make judgments all the time, saying things such as:

This person is cruel.
This person is selfish.
This person is a bad mother.
This person is a bad father.
This person has bad manners.

Judgments arise in our minds constantly. One after another.

Judging is programmed into us. The mind has been conditioned to judge. This conditioning began when you were a little child and it has been ingrained. Your parents judged. Your teachers judged. Your neighbors judged. Your friends judged. The media has bombarded you with millions of judgments and comparisons.

As a result, you can’t see someone hitting a child and NOT judge them. You can’t see someone denying food to the hungry and NOT judge them.

You can read Scripture or spiritual texts 24 hours a day about not judging, and you will see a child molester being arrested on TV, and your tendency will be to judge that person. You will see a story about a suicide bomber and you will judge that person.

Judgment arises before you can stop it. And yet we often begin our judgments by saying, “I’m not judging, but….”

These are hollow, “spiritually correct” words, but nothing more.

You ARE judging. Why not be honest about it? What is so terrible about admitting that we are judging others?

I don’t know how to eradicate judgment, but I have discovered that the way to lessen the amount of judgment that arises is to simply allow it to be there. Don’t resist it or say that it isn’t there, or shouldn’t be there.

Judgment IS there and if you just observe it impartially, you will find that it dissipates quickly and doesn’t arise as often in the future. Shine the light of Awareness on your judgments. View reality as it IS, not as you wish it were.

What you might also find is that you will not vocalize your judgments as often. Once the phrase “I’m not judging, but…” has been removed from your vocabulary, you won’t feel as comfortable expressing your judgments. And in those instances when you do speak, you will be very honest in admitting your comments are judgmental. This is not something to be ashamed of. You don’t need to be ashamed of the truth.

If you believe you will “defeat” judgment through study, persistent effort or willpower, I think you are engaging in a fruitless activity. Going to war against judgment simply doesn’t work.

Choose a different approach. Be honest with yourself about your judgments. These judgments are asking you to look at them, without judgment.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009

One of our subscribers forwarded to me this essay entitled “Churches and Politics.” The references to PW stand for “Pastor’s Wife.”

I found the essay to be very thought provoking. It applies not only to churches, but to all religions and all kinds of congregations. Moreover, it applies to those who have spiritual beliefs of any nature, even if they are not part of a congregation.

I invite you to read the essay and to share your insights and personal experiences on this subject. I look forward to hearing from people in the United States and around the world.

http://blog.beliefnet.com/jesuscreed/2009/08/churches-and-politics-by-pw.html  

I’ve discovered that an essential part of our spiritual growth is the interplay between mind and spirit. This relationship is shifting and evolving all the time.

Some spiritual traditions speak in very hostile terms about the mind, as if the mind must be annihilated so that spirit can blossom. I don’t see it that way. As long as we are in human form, we need our mind to live and function in the world. There is no point in trying to kill the mind or to treat it as an enemy.

On the other hand, we do need to keep the mind on a short leash – or else it can cause quite a bit of mischief. In today’s world, most people are overly enamored with the mind. It is the mind that judges, compares and criticizes. Spirit does none of those things.

When the mind is very active and full of judgment, spirit is pushed into the background.

How can we know the right mix for us between mind and spirit? I sense that the key is to let spirit lead the dance. How do we know whether mind or spirit is leading the dance? Here are a few of my observations, which may or may not resonate with you.

Mind is leading the dance when we are thinking of past and future.
Spirit is leading the dance when we are present.

Mind is leading the dance when thoughts are raging.
Spirit is leading the dance when mind is quiet (although not necessarily silent).

Mind is leading the dance whenever you feel troubled.
Spirit is leading the dance when you feel calm….even in the midst of turmoil.

Mind is leading when we’re judging and feeling any constriction in the body, emotionally and physically.
Spirit is leading when we are open, non-judgmental and loving.

Mind is leading when we’re searching and obsessing about something or someone.
Spirit is leading when we are quiet enough to allow wisdom to speak to us and guide us.

Mind is leading when our prayers amount to begging for conditions WE want.
Spirit is leading when our prayer is to surrender to God’s Will and when we have gratitude for whatever unfolds.

Mind is leading when we resist.
Spirit is leading when we allow.

Mind is leading when we are afraid of change.
Spirit is leading when we are willing to flow with change and embrace whatever comes.

Mind is leading when we think we know what is best for the world and everyone in it.
Spirit is leading when we put our arrogance aside and acknowledge that God is in control.

Mind is leading when we think we know all about God or how this mysterious universe operates.
Spirit is leading when we realize how little we know and how limited our human understanding is.

Mind is leading when the majority of our focus is on the physical body and our material objectives.
Spirit is leading when we are in touch with our eternal divine essence and see that essence in everything and everyone.

Mind is leading when we feel love for a reason – such as being in the presence of a person we find pleasing, or when circumstances are to our liking.
Spirit is leading when we feel love for no reason at all, when we need no stimulation to experience love because we ARE love.

Mind is leading when we want to be right.
Spirit is leading when we are content to just BE.

I recognize that each of you may have a different idea of what Mind or Spirit means. Regardless of your definitions, I invite you to take a moment to observe how the dance of mind and spirit is operating in YOUR life. Each person’s experience of mind and spirit will vary, and I welcome your insights.

– Jeff Keller
© 2009