Stories and Labels (Part 4)
Let’s continue the discussion about our stories and how they affect our lives and our spiritual growth.
If you take a close look at your stories, you will see that almost all of them are thoughts you hold in your mind. Your nationality, your religion, your spirituality, your occupation – all of these are thoughts in your mind that can come and go. They can’t be the essence of what you are on the spiritual level.
Assume your friend John has an accident and suffers amnesia. John no longer knows his nationality, religion, occupation or any other fact of his past. Does John still exist? Yes.
Is John a different person after the accident? No, it’s the same person. If you believe that each person has a spiritual essence, you wouldn’t say that John’s spirit has changed.
The only things that have changed are the thoughts and beliefs in the mind of John – and the thoughts and beliefs of those who interact with John and who may now see him in a different light. For instance, you may not have liked John and his personality before the accident. Now you may have sympathy for him as you watch him confused and struggling. You are telling yourself a different story about him.
We often take ourselves to be our story. We take others to be the story they are telling. On the level of eternal, unchanging spirit, this is not true.
Why should we care about how much emphasis we place on stories? What is the big deal?
Stories appear to be relatively harmless, until we realize how much pain and suffering they cause us. How do you feel when your story isn’t going as you want? Stressed? Frustrated?
When your spouse isn’t following the script or story you have established for them, how do you feel? At peace…or tense?
When your children aren’t following the story you have projected for them, does this cause you a little anxiety?
When people around the world are committing unspeakable acts of violence, are you getting anywhere by insisting that they adopt your story and give up their own? Is this bringing you peace? Is it solving the violence?
Of course, you can point to the flip side as well. When the story IS going as you wish, you’re happy. When the goals or projections are achieved, you’re content. Until the story takes a “negative” turn again.
Is this roller-coaster of ups and downs the way we are meant to live? Happy when the story is going well….and sad when the story takes a turn we don’t like? Is the answer to be found by talking about our story constantly….or trying to fix it so that we develop a better story?
Is it possible to live life without insisting on any particular story or outcome? Try to keep an open mind before drawing any conclusions.
These are not esoteric, philosophical questions. They are very practical, and I’ll be exploring these questions in the next newsletter.
– Jeff Keller
© 2009